Peacemaker
by RomansGirl
Summary: Can one girl bring peace between mortal enemies? Will love and friendship survive? First ever fanfic. Starts after Edward left Bella. New Moon spoilers. All characters belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer. Please review!
1. Prologue

Prologue

_BPOV_

They can't see my tears when it rains. Funny, the reason I loathed Forks in the first place, the rain, had now become my protection. The drops and mist create a façade to hide the pain in my face. Pain. Pain coursed through my veins, keeping me alive even though I felt I were dead. And yet, I'd become so numb that I couldn't even feel the pain living within me. Pulsating with every beat of my heart. My dead heart. I was very much alive, but my heart was dead. Shattered and broken. Throbbing within me, the pieces were there. But they weren't whole. Not since he left me.

I'd managed to mimic life's daily motions for four months now. Breathing in and out, one breath at a time, day by day by day. It was no life, that's for sure. But I kept living it anyway. For Charlie I guess. Charlie. Everyday he tries to will me to live. Trying to get me to talk, eat, get out of the house, anything. For a while I thought I was doing a pretty good job of trying to act normal. But I wasn't fooling him. Not even for a second. I wasn't fooling myself either.

How much longer could I continue like this? Forever. I'd continue this way forever. I'd once thought that Edward would be my forever. I cringe at just the thought of his name. Forever. Without him in my life, this is my forever. I've accepted that. I almost take comfort in it. Almost.

EPOV 

It's daylight again. I feel the warmth of the sun's rays on my back as I lay on the floor, huddling in a fetal position. I won't be going out now, not in the sun. Not that I'd moved in the last 72 hours anyway. How long have I been here? In this attic? Three, maybe four months? Who's counting. I hadn't hunted since I'd been here. Since I'd left my family back in Denali.

I had hurt them, I know. I couldn't bare to look at them anymore. Day after day. I had to get out of there. They mourned as though I'd died. As though she had died as well. They had supported my decision to leave Forks even though they tried to reason with me. I was so sure I was doing the right thing. Leaving Bella. It was the only way to protect her. She couldn't really love me. An angel in love with a monster? I tried to believe it but I just couldn't anymore. I was all wrong for her. She'd be better off without me. But now I'm not so sure. Was it the right thing? Have I made a huge mistake? Does it even matter? She wouldn't forgive me, I'm sure. She's probably already found someone else. The Newton boy perhaps. The thought made me ill.

I closed my eyes tighter, trying to stop the thoughts. But I couldn't hide from them. I couldn't hide from the pain. And there was no hope for relief from the pain. The pain that, had I been human, would have ate away at my very being. But I wasn't human. I was a monster. Damned for eternity with no escape. No way to sleep even.

I sighed and rolled over, staring at the sun and sky seeping through the cracks in the roof above me. I thought of that day, in the meadow. Lying on my back staring at the sun and sky with Bella by my side. I remembered the way her warm, delicate fingers traced over my fingers and palm and then the back of my hand and slowly up my arm. Cautiously, as though I may break. I almost smiled at the thought. Bella. My Bella. She was still my Bella and she was out there somewhere. Full of life. I reveled in thoughts of her and knew I could make it another day in this existence.


	2. Chapter 1

1.

_BPOV _

The holidays came and went. I was thankful for the simplicity that came with it just being Charlie and I, although I did miss Renee. It was hard to believe that she was gone. My mind flashbacked to the last day I saw her, at the hospital in Phoenix after surviving my brush with death. She and Phil had died in a car crash after leaving the airport shortly after they arrived back in Miami. My efforts to save her had been in vain. James didn't kill her, but she was gone none-the-less. Her death a product of the need to be by my side. She seemed happy to see me with someone, ending the dateless drought of my youth. I quickly pushed away the memories so that I wouldn't be tempted to think of him.

With this being the last weekend of winter break, I spent most of my time reviewing the materials we were learning prior to the holidays. School offered little distraction from the monotony of my daily depression, but at least it was a distraction.

Charlie had invited Billy Black over for dinner. Jacob would be with him of course. I'm sure Charlie had _some _ulterior motives in mind, other than the company, but I wasn't mad at him. I found myself looking forward to seeing Jacob, despite myself.

I had taken an instant liking to Jacob Black when I met him at First Beach last year when Mike Newton had convinced me to join him and some other kids from school for a beach party. It was Jacob who'd told me the truth about the Cullens'. Although he never took much stock in the legends.

Billy on the other hand knew first hand the legends were real. Whenever possible, he felt it necessary to warn me to stay away from the Cullens'. My relationship with Edward caused him particular distress. He'd even stooped so low as to send Jacob to my prom last year, bribing him to warn me yet again to stay away from Edward. Of course it didn't work.

Although I knew Billy remained concerned about my mental well-being, even if only for Charlie's sake, he was mainly just relieved the Cullens' left and that Edward had left me. I hated seeing that pleasure in his eyes. I was still unable to look at him without glaring. Another reason to be thankful that Jacob would be tagging along.

I fussed around the kitchen, taking out of the oven the lasagna I had made for dinner, when I heard a knock at the front door.

"Billy! Come in, come in. It's good to see you. Jacob, glad you could join us." It was obvious Charlie had missed Billy's company. Unfortunately for Charlie, I wasn't much for watching sports.

"Hello, Charlie."

"Thanks for the invite Chief."

By the time they'd all finished their greetings and strolled into the kitchen, I was just finishing setting the table. Time to put on my smile.

"Hi, Jacob! Billy."

Billy and Charlie talked nonstop through dinner, but they hadn't really seen each other in a while. Billy had distanced himself after I became involved with the Cullens', which hadn't sat to well with Charlie.

Jacob made small talk and though I didn't do much to reciprocate the conversation, he didn't seem to mind.

After dinner, Charlie and Billy retired to the living room to watch their game while Jacob stayed behind and helped me clean up.

"You don't have to help with the dishes, Jake. You're a guest."

"I don't mind. I wash all of the dishes at home anyway. So, Bella, I was wondering." Jacob was stammering. "Well, I've got my license now and everything and I was thinking maybe we could hang out sometime."

"Aren't we hanging out now?" I teased. I couldn't help myself, he was so cute in that little brother kind of way. Although, he was far from little.

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of this Friday. We could go see a movie or something."

The idea of a night out made me a little nervous. I'd turned down dozens of invitations from my friends at school. But something about going with Jacob seemed to start calming those nerves.

"Sure, Jake. That sounds like fun."

"Great! I'll pick you up on Friday, after school."

Just then, Charlie peeked his head in the kitchen and announced that Billy was ready to go. I walked with them to the front door and waved as Jacob helped Billy into the car and the drove away.

As soon as the door was closed I told Charlie good night and headed up to my room. Grabbing my bag of toiletries off my desk, I headed across the hall to the bathroom. I stood under the hot water of the shower as the dread of going back to school tomorrow began to creep over me. The few friends I had managed to make had distanced themselves from me, probably fearful of the dark cloud that had loomed directly over me for the past five months. Now the other students mostly just gawked and whispered in my direction. Everyday had become like the first day of school over and over again. Like a bad re-run. I still sat with Jessica and Angela and the rest of the crew at lunch, but they had long since stopped including me in any conversation.

I reluctantly shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. I towel dried my hair, ran a brush through it, threw on my pajamas and headed back to my room.

As I laid there in the dark, no hopes of sleep anywhere in my near future, I thought about the evening and Jake. If I was being honest, I'd have to say that it was good to see Jake again. Although he was two years younger than me, I really liked him. He was so easy to talk to and I felt very comfortable around him.

He had gotten taller since I'd seen him last. And he'd filled out a bit too leaving only a hint of the boyish adolescent face left around his chin. Actually, I'm sure the girls around La Push found him very pleasing to the eye. With his bronze skin and jet black hair, secured in neat pony tail at the nape of his neck, and his dark but friendly eyes. Yeah, I'd definitely bet that he was a hot ticket on the reservation. If I remembered how, I would have giggled at the thought.


	3. Chapter 2

2.

_BPOV_

When I woke up the next morning, it took until after I'd showered and gotten dressed before I realized I hadn't had the nightmare that night. The nightmare I'd had every night since he left me in the woods. The nightmare that used to awaken me with my own screams. I stopped halfway down the stairs when the realization hit me, nearly falling the rest of the way down.

My nightmare had become as routine to me as breathing in and out. It was a part of me. Comforting as much as it was haunting. I should be elated to have had a peaceful nights sleep, but instead it left me unnerved. Why the change?

I grabbed my book bag and a breakfast bar from the kitchen, shrugged my jacket on and headed out to my truck. During the drive to school, I was puzzling over my missing nightmare. It was only one, odds were it would be back tonight. I could only hope. I needed my nightmare like sane people needed their dreams. It was all I had left. My only connection to times past, times with _him._ _His_ memory haunted me, engulfing me in the night like a security blanket. I was afraid to let it go.

By the time I got to school, I had just enough time to make it to my first class before the final bell. The rest of the day went by in a blur and before I knew it, Charlie was on the couch glued to the TV for one of his games and I was cleaning up the mess from dinner. Where had the day gone?

I finished up my homework and got ready for bed. It had been a pretty uneventful day but for some reason I felt exhausted. I only had one, brief thought concerning my missing nightmare before sleep overtook me.

Eight hours later, the sound of the alarm forced my eyes to open lazily. I shut it off and rolled over, yawning and stretching my arms over my head. This time, I made it halfway to school before I realized that, once again, I hadn't had the nightmare.

The rest of the week continued in pretty much the same fashion. I slept peacefully through each night, no nightmares, with the school days passing by in a blur and the evenings at home all running together. And with each day, it took longer before I noticed my nightmare was gone.

When Friday came, I had hardly been giving much thought at all to the nightmare. Subconsciously, I was worried, afraid that it was gone for good. But, I had pushed that fear deep inside and was enjoying feeling normal for a change. I had even engaged in a few lunchroom conversations over the past week.

Today was also the day I'd made plans to go with Jacob. We were going to Port Angeles for a movie. I put more than the usual effort into my appearance while getting ready and actually found myself looking forward to getting out.

I left Charlie a note telling him there was stuff to make cold cuts on the top shelf of the refrigerator and that I wouldn't be out too late. Of course he was so happy at the thought of me spending an evening outside of my room that a curfew probably wasn't an issue. And the fact that I was going with Jacob undoubtedly pleased him to no end. I finished my note just as I heard the rumble of an engine out front.

I grabbed my coat and ran out the front door to meet Jacob. I hit the first step and almost fell off the porch when I saw what he was driving. A motorcycle. He has got to be kidding. Obviously, Jake was unaware of the fact that I was accident prone. Not to mention the fact that it was barely 50 degrees outside. I noticed Jacob wasn't even wearing a jacket.

"Hey Bella. Wow! You look great! Ready to go?"

"On that?" I pointed to the bike. A night in the emergency room is definitely not what I had in mind.

"Why not? Hop on." He grinned.

I could feel my face turning green and the look on my face did not escape Jacob's attention because he switched off the bike and hurried towards me. I must have looked faint because he was reaching his arms out as if he may need to catch me.

"Gee, Bella. Are you okay? I was only kidding. I didn't mean to scare you."

I exhaled thankfully, not realizing I'd been holding my breath.

"I thought we could take your truck. That is, if you don't mind." His voice was still sorrowful.

"Of course, Jake. No problem." I smiled to reassure him. "You really had me going there for a second though." I laughed although my voice still had a nervous edge.

The drive to Port Angeles was filled with easy conversation. I mostly listened to Jacob talk as I drove. He filled me in about working on his bike and fixing up other cars and hanging out with his friends on the reservation. We talked a little about school and of Billy and Charlie's fishing adventures. It was nice, and light.

We seemed to arrive at the theater in no time. Thanks to the conversation I'm sure. After agreeing on a zombie flick, we bought our tickets and headed to the snack bar. Jacob ordered a jumbo popcorn, extra butter of course, some candy and a large soda. He was definitely a growing boy. I decided on some gummi bears. The movie, full of zombies as promised, was more ridiculous than scary. About half way through, Jacob and I happened to catch each other's eye and then fought to suppress our giggles throughout the rest of the movie.

I was really tired by the time we left the theater. This had been more activity in one evening than I'd had in the last several months combined. The fatigue must have showed on my face because Jacob offered to drive home. I happily turned over the keys.


	4. Chapter 3

3.

_JPOV _

I could tell Bella was really tired and I was glad she was comfortable letting me drive home. It was great to spend time with her tonight. I was actually surprised that she agreed to come. I haven't spent this much time with her since we met at First Beach last year.

I developed a crush on her right away. Even after she started dating Edward Cullen, I still held out hope. I'd see her now and then when dad and I would visit Charlie. I remember one night we were there and Edward was dropping her off. He leaned over and kissed her neck before she got out of the car. All I could think was how lucky he was but my dad nearly lost it. He was so caught up in the stories of the "cold ones". It really was embarrassing sometimes. The worst was when he sent me to Bella's prom last year and made me warn her to stay away from Edward. It was humiliating to say the least and no fun watching her with another guy either. But Bella was so cool about the whole thing. No matter how much tension brewed between her and my father, she always had a smile for me.

I suppose in way though, my father was right about Edward Cullen. Vampire legends aside, Edward did hurt Bella. The way he just left her, telling her he'd never even loved her. I remember when Sam found her out in the middle of the forest. Charlie had called Billy when Bella hadn't come home that evening. She looked terrible. And she just kept mumbling, _'He's gone. He's gone.'_ Over and over like she was in a trance.

My father tried to help Charlie over the next few months but there wasn't much he could do. We all watched Charlie suffer as Bella sank deeper and deeper into her depression. He said the nightmares were the worst part. Every night she'd wake up screaming Edward's name, begging him not to leave. He said she finally started to come around a little after he threatened to have her committed. I was glad to hear that she seemed to have gotten even better over the past month or so, and I must say that she seemed almost like her normal self tonight. But I can tell the evening has taken a lot out of her.

So far the ride home had been quiet. But my mind was spinning from all the things I wanted to say to her. I wanted to let her know that I was here for her, in any way she needed. Actually, I wanted to tell her that if she gave me a chance, I'd never break her heart. She was so beautiful. And she looked so small and fragile leaning against the door watching the trees pass. I'd love nothing more than to rescue her from the hell she'd been through. But, I wasn't feeling that bold. Not yet, at least.

Finally, I mustered up some courage and broke the silence.

"Bella, you okay?" _Be cautious, start slow._

"Hm? Oh, yeah, sure Jake. Just a little tired, that's all."

I kept telling myself to be careful and not say too much. But when I opened my mouth again everything just came spilling out.

"Bella, I know you've been through a lot and how bad Edward hurt you." She flinched when I said his name but I kept going, feeling it was important to tell her this.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you. For whatever you need. If you feel like you need to get things out or if you just need someone to listen or talk to. Whenever you're ready to maybe talk about, you know, things…Well, if you need to unload anything your feeling, I just want you to know I'm here." _Shut up, stupid! You're just rambling._

When she didn't respond, only looked at me with those big, brown eyes, I tried to backtrack.

"And, if you're not ready or don't want to talk about things, that's cool too. I understand, you know, whatever you want." She was still just staring at me; one hand pressing against her chest like she was is pain. Almost as if the memory of him, of what happened, was causing her physical pain. Tears started brimming on the edge of her eyes.

"Are you hurting, what's wrong?" _Please don't let her cry. Did I say too much?_ I didn't want to make her sad. I was trying to help.

"Nothing, it's just that, no, it's nothing, really."

"Bella, I'm sorry if something I said hurt you. Please don't cry." I didn't want the evening to end this way. Not after the good time we'd had.

"It's okay, Jake. Really. I appreciate what you said. You're a good friend." She smiled at me, but her eyes were still sad. "It's just that, I've never talked about it, to anyone. I don't think I'm ready for that."

"That's cool. I didn't mean to push. New subject then. What did you think of the movie?" Suddenly she smiled, started laughing even. I started laughing with her.

"I think we can both agree that it was pretty corny. Next time we can go see a real comedy."

"Next time? Are you asking _me_ out this time?" She blushed when I turned the tables on her.

"Yeah, I guess I am. Maybe we can ride on your motorcycle. I'll just have to bundle up. And I'd probably have to keep my eyes closed, and maybe wear a helmet? Oh, god, and if Charlie found out, we'd both be road kill!" We both laughed again. "By the way it feels now, looks like you're in for a cold ride home. Did you even bring a jacket?"

"Nah. I don't get cold when I ride." Her expression looked doubtful. "I'm serious, I don't. I know it doesn't make sense but it's true."

We stood there in silence now and the thought of kissing her crossed my mind. _Maybe I could give her a hug, just to let her know I care. _But before I could make a move, she said goodnight and headed towards the steps. I called after her, not even sure what to say.

"Hey, Bella!"

"Yeah Jake?"

"Sleep tight."

She smiled and went inside. It was just a slight smile, tentative even, but it warmed my heart.

I hopped on my bike and sped off toward home. I noticed too that not only was I not the least bit cold but I was actually sweating. It had to be my nerves. Not that Bella made me nervous. It was more like she had my heart skipping all night. I think this little crush of mine is about to go past the breaking point.

Everything about Bella just seemed right to me. She was pretty and fun and smart. I'd have to be careful with what I said from now on though. She was still healing. I decided I'd never mention Edward Cullen again. I also decided that I was going to do whatever I had to do to make her forget he ever existed.


	5. Chapter 4

4.

BPOV 

As I lay in my bed that night, I thought about my evening with Jake. It was really nice to see him and I did have a good time. He was so easy to be around. I never felt nervous or anxious when I was with him. Of course the thought of riding on the back of that motorcycle made me a little queasy. I can't believe I suggested it.

My mind then wandered to the conversation during the ride home. Why did he have to say his name? I clutched my chest again at the thought. Jake was right about one thing. Edward had hurt me, badly. And I was definitely _not_ ready to talk about it, especially with Jake. I couldn't imagine anything more humiliating. Besides, Jacob Black knew enough. And Billy knew more than enough. I'd never talk about it and I hated having to think about now.

The pain in my chest was sharp. Every time I thought about _him_ or what happened I could feel my heart breaking all over again. Would I ever be healed? I doubted it. I sighed and rolled over, clutching my knees to my chest in a vain attempt to console myself. I closed my eyes. Tight. _Edward._ I said his name in my head. Ow! The pain in my chest was sharp. I felt tears beginning to seep from between my eyelids, even though I was squeezing them closed tightly. I couldn't help it then and just let myself go.

I searched my mind for his face, seeing his topaz eyes and the way they seemed to see all the way into my soul. I thought about his crooked smile and his perfect lips. I remembered the contrast of his cold lips against my own and how despite the cold, his kiss would always ignite a fire within me. I remembered the nights, lying in this very bed and could almost feel his cold arms wrapped around me now. It all seemed so far away and yet it feels as though it was only yesterday.

Even though I knew someone as perfect as he could never love someone as ordinary as myself, he really did make me feel loved. His tender kisses and the way he'd look at me as though claiming me as his own. The way he'd reach out to gently stroke my face with his icy fingers, leaving a trail of warmth along my skin. But I was just an infatuation. And when he'd finally built up a resistance to my blood, the blood that had tempted him so in the beginning, he had no further use for me. I was, after all, just a silly human girl. I'm sure the only reason he stuck around as long as he did was to help me through losing Renee. He may not have loved me, but he wasn't heartless.

As much as it hurt me to lose him, it hurt to lose Alice too. It hurt to lose all of the Cullens, the vampire family that had taken me in as one of their own. But Alice had become the sister I'd never had. Always happy to see me, bounding into me with her big, bear hug greetings. Floating around like a pixie on a cloud, she always had a smile on her perfect face.

She had seen me become one of them, in her visions. She had seen me as a part of their family. But it had to have been a mistake. I didn't even get to say goodbye to her. I didn't get to say goodbye to any of them. That made the heartbreak even worse. _"It'll be as though I never existed,"_ he had told me. And he meant it. When I finally woke up, three days after Sam had found me in the woods, I tore my room apart trying to find one shred of evidence of him. But it was all gone. The pictures, his clothes, and the CD he'd given me of his lullaby. The one he'd written for me. All gone. He'd taken everything. Why? Perhaps he really did believe I would forget about him. Forget that he ever existed. Forget about my love for him. Never.

I thought about Jake again. I knew he could never be a replacement for what I had lost, and that's not what I wanted anyway. But it would be so nice to have a friend. Someone that made me feel normal again. Someone that distracted my mind from my shattered heart and that made me feel that it was okay to smile and laugh again. Jacob could be that someone. Yes, I could definitely see myself becoming very good friends with Jacob Black.

Not to long after closing my eyes I drifted off to sleep and immediately began dreaming.

'_I was in the woods and it was nighttime. But it wasn't dark. The moon was full and lit up the trees all around me._

"_Edward?" I called out for him as I was running. I stopped for a moment, looking deep within the trees and listening for any indication of movement among them. Nothing._

"_Edward, please, where are you? Please don't leave me!" I called out to him more urgently as I continued to run through the woods. I didn't even know where I was going, only that I knew I had to find him out here, somewhere. From somewhere in the distance I heard a wolf howl, sending goose bumps up and down my arms. When I stopped again I was in a clearing. The clearing where he'd left me. The howling was getting louder._

"_Edward?" My voice was tentative now, barely a whisper. But I knew he was here and I knew he could hear me. And then I saw him. __My heart leapt into my throat when his black eyes locked on mine.__ He'd come back for me. He was on the other side of the clearing, just out of the reach of the moonlight, standing in the shadows, reaching out for me. __My legs seemed too heavy to move, as if they were slowly sinking into mud. I struggled and managed to drag my right foot forward keeping my eyes only on him, never daring to look away when,__ suddenly, there in front of me, right in my path, was an enormous __russet-colored__ wolf. It gave __Edward only the slightest glance._

_It's face seemed familiar, friendly. Even though it was the size of a small horse, I didn't feel as if I were in any danger from it. Still, it blocked my path, the path I needed to take to become reunited with my only love. Edward's voice floated to me across the wide expanse…_

"_Bella?" Edward was still reaching for me, __his hands beckoning me__, waiting for me to __come__ to him. But I couldn't move. The wolf's __face__ was __at__ eye level, staring at me with bright, yellow eyes __as if__ it were holding me there with its stare. I wanted to run to Edward but I was frozen. The wolf took a step towards me, forcing me to take a step back. It took another step and I was forced to step back __once more__. It kept coming toward me, slowly, pushing me farther back, __driving me__ away from Edward, __away from the only man I have or ever will love__. I started shaking my head, trying to find my voice. __If I could only find a way around this…the word 'monster' came to mind, but it didn't seem to fit. This was no monster; it never bared its teeth at me or growled. The look in its eyes was gentle, caring, protective. None of that mattered though. I needed to get to Edward!_

_I forced myself to look away from the animal that stood in my way, the animal that was keeping me from eternal happiness. I looked past it, searching the shadows of the trees where Edward had been standing not a second ago. I could no longer see him._

"_Edward! Don't leave me!" I screamed out into the darkness, "Please!"_

_I heard his words whisper in my ear as if he were standing with his lips not an inch from my face…_

"_Be safe."_

_I fell to my knees as the big wolf wrapped itself around my body bathing me in the warmth of its fur._

_No, no, no…_

"No!" I woke up shouting, tangled in my quilt, soaked with perspiration.


	6. Chapter 5

5.

_APOV _

When I first started having visions of Bella with Jacob Black, I feared that maybe Edward had been right. She was moving on, with someone else. I was crushed, devastated, and then denial kicked in. Looking closer, careful scrutiny told me her heart was still being reserved. I peered into her future over and over and never saw anything more than what appeared to be a friendship. Bella always looked a bit tentative, reserved. And any physical affection like their holding hands appeared as innocent, between friends not lovers. Of course I wasn't so sure about the Black kid. But Bella's heart was my concern, not some teenage boy's puppy love.

I knew I shouldn't even be watching her. Edward would be furious if he knew. But Edward wasn't here. He left Bella. And then he disappeared completely. I know he felt that by leaving Bella he was keeping her safe and allowing her a chance to live normally. He was just too stubborn to see what everyone else already knew. It was too late for him and Bella. Bella knew it but Edward just couldn't accept it.

None of us had any idea where he was now. I know he left because he couldn't handle being around us. We all mourned the loss of Bella in our lives. She was special to us. And we couldn't explain our love for her any more than Edward could explain being in love with her. It didn't matter to us though, the how's or the why's. We just knew that she fit. This silly, awkward, innocent and wonderfully trusting human girl completed our family. She was my best friend. No, she was my sister, even if she was human. But she wasn't meant to remain human. I believed that deep in my heart. I'd seen her become part of our family, become one of us so many times. What went wrong?

Esme has it the worst, first the loss of Bella in our lives and now Edward. In her human life she'd lost her newborn son, and along with her son, her will to live. Once Carlisle found her and changed her, not only did she finally have the love of her life, she had Edward. She loved all of us as if we were her real children. We all knew that. But Edward was there first. He became the son she had lost. The joy it brought to her heart seeing Edward with Bella was obvious to us all. It didn't matter that Edward had been content in his existence without having that special someone. Esme was elated that he'd found someone to share his life with and she knew even before Edward that he was in love.

The simple fact was that we all knew Edward was just being stubborn. In over one hundred years of existence, he'd never come close to finding someone to love, refusing to even look. Until he met Bella Swan. And she was not just someone to love. If ever there were two hearts that were meant for each other, they belonged to Edward and Bella. It was fate. How could it not be? The fact that her blood called to him like that of no other human's had in a hundred years meant more than just his thirst. Her very essence called to him in a way that even he could not continue to deny.

That's why I had to watch Bella. I knew Edward had made a mistake by leaving her, but I knew he wouldn't be able to stay away forever. She was a part of him, and he of her. It was only a matter of time before destiny would have to intervene on their behalf. And, I for one, would be ready.

Of course, I hadn't any visions to confirm that. Not yet anyway. It was very frustrating. Any time I searched the future for Edward my mind came up blank. Wherever Edward was, he wasn't doing much, if anything. And he certainly didn't seem to have plans to do anything any time soon. Stubborn, masochistic fool. No one loved self-loathing more than Edward.

And so, I watch Bella. Waiting for something. Anything. Jasper is the only one who knows. There's no need to involve the others. Even though they disagreed with Edward, I'm not sure they'd agree with my obsessing need to watch Bella.

In the beginning, watching her had been pure hell. The Bella we all knew and loved ceased to exist. She didn't sleep or eat. Even now, she was still dangerously thin. Her warm and friendly eyes were dull. There was no life left in her face. The warmth of her blush that made her Bella had disappeared. Her face became that of a ghost, pale with deep, haunting circles under her eyes. I think she slept less than we did.

But two months ago, when I saw that Charlie was going to have Bella committed for her depression, Jasper and I knew we had to intervene. We told the family we needed to get away for some time alone and that we'd be back in about a week. We made the trip from Denali to Forks and spent that week staking out Bella's house. It was heart wrenching to be that close to her and not be able to run up and grab her, hug her and shake her back to life, knowing how much she needed us. How much we needed her.

Jasper spent those nights outside Bella's window, doing whatever he could to try to help pull her out of the spell she seemed to be under. Every night was the same. She'd wake up screaming Edward's name, begging him not to leave and then cry herself back to sleep. At that point we weren't even sure Jasper could help. Maybe we were too late. I was so worried about her I almost considered sending Emmett to track Edward down. I didn't think Bella would be able to hang on until Edward snapped out of it and realized he couldn't stay away from her any longer.

Finally, it did begin to work and we could see that Jasper was getting through to her. He couldn't stop her nightmares, but his presence helped her in the mornings, starting her days off better. We even risked following her to school a few times. Her spirits lightened a little. And Charlie relaxed, a little.

By the time we returned home, I wasn't sure how much more _I _could take. Honestly, watching her was beginning to take its toll on me. It was all I could do to leave her there in Forks and not just bring her back with us to Alaska and end all of this nonsense. But I resisted the urge and fell back into my routine of watching. I watched her and Edward and hoped. No, I didn't just hope, I prayed.

And, although lately, I hadn't seen anything to alarm me of trouble, I couldn't shake this feeling of anxiety that had recently crept up on me, the feeling as though I was missing something. If I looked too far into the future, there were gaps, like a darkness where information was missing. It left me more than a little unnerved and wondering if Edward would come back before it was too late.


	7. Chapter 6

6.

_BPOV _

Over the last few weeks, Jake and I had become pretty much inseparable. He'd even talked me into riding around with him on his motorcycle a couple of times. And despite the fact that I wore a helmet, I still squeezed my eyes shut and hung on for dear life. To say that Charlie approved of these rides would be an overstatement but he said very little about it. His happiness at seeing me living my life _and_ spending time with Jake overshadowed his worries about the bike.

Just about all the free time I had anymore was spent down at La Push. That time had helped mend my relationship with Billy, eliminating all hostilities and awkwardness that had settled between us. Most importantly, Charlie had quit hovering over me like I would collapse at any moment. I could finally let go of the guilt for what I'd been putting him through. For the most part, I was finally living normally.

Only one thing still troubled me. My nightmares of Edward leaving me had stopped. Instead, my dreams were always about a wolf, the same wolf. Sometimes Edward would be in my dream just out of my reach, the wolf blocking my path. Other times I would be alone with the wolf. Something about the wolf was friendly and familiar but I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. Whatever it was, I was never afraid. So I tried not to worry about the dreams too much.

What did I have to worry about anyway? I was going to be graduating in few months and was planning on attending college nearby so I could stay with Charlie. The Newton's had already offered me a permanent position at their store so I could continue to work through college since I'd insisted to Charlie that I could pay my own way. I wanted to stay close to Jake, too. He'd still have two more years of school left and at this point and I just couldn't imagine my life without him.

My friendship with Jake was not without it's problems, however. In a very short period of time, Jack had become _very_ attached. With each day I could feel him becoming more and more anxious to cross that line from friendship to relationship. At first, the hugs goodnight and the handholding had been nice. Comforting even. But lately he'd become braver. He'd start by walking with his arm around my shoulders, and then gradually moving his arm down around my waist. Most recently he'd begun stroking my face and my hair while talking to me. I knew he was testing the limitations, but I couldn't reject his affections. It just felt so good to be cared about that I was letting it carry too far. I knew I was leading him on. Even before this friendship began I knew I could never love him the way I'd loved Edward. The way I still loved Edward. But I needed him and his caresses, so, selfishly, I let it continue.

Worse than leading Jake on, I let myself begin to think of a possible future with him. Could I be happy with Jake? It wouldn't be anything like the future I'd imagined with Edward, but it just might be enough. A girl would be crazy not to fall for Jake. He was amazing in so many ways, looks and personality. He was tall, dark and muscular. Nothing at all like other boys his age. Despite the fact that he was two years younger than I was, lately he looked more like a senior than I did. And his native features were nothing to blink at either. His jet, black hair was always pulled into a neat pony tail and his dark bronze skin only accentuated his still developing muscles. And although the warmth of his embrace was not what I was used to, it was nice. To not be swept away completely was becoming increasingly difficult. He was my best friend, and as if all that wasn't enough, he was crazy about me.

Time had been passing so quickly that I'd hardly given it much thought and not nearly enough thought toward how quickly things had progressed between us. Until last night…

We'd gone up to the tide pools again. It had always been one of my favorite places to visit and now it seemed like one of our favorite places. Jake had really been upset lately over the fact that some of his friends had gotten closer to Sam Uley. They seemed to be spending all of their time with Sam and practically ignoring Jake, Quill and Embry all together, almost as if they were no longer allowed to be friends. I'd noticed the difference as well and it seemed that they now belonged to a secret club, although Jake referred to it as a gang with Sam as their obvious leader.

Seeing the way it affected him was troubling. What started out as sadness was turning into anger. Sometimes he would mumble on and on about legends and brainwashing. I couldn't really follow. But then again, it wasn't like he was trying to explain it to me. It was more like he was going over it in his own head. So I didn't try to make heads or tails of it. Instead, I just listened and tried to be a comfort to him.

That particular night, he was sitting by the edge of one of the pools. He'd stopped talking some time ago and was just sort of staring, not really seeming to see anything. I moved closer to him and took his hand in mine. Not knowing exactly what to say, I just told him that I was sorry. He looked up at me with his dark eyes. His expression was unreadable but he seemed to be holding me there in his gaze. Leaning in he let his forehead rest against mine and brought his hand up to hold my cheek. My heart was pounding and my breath seemed caught in my chest. I knew what he wanted to do, what he was going to do. What I didn't know was what I wanted or was going to do. Slow, but determinedly his hand slid from my cheek around to the back of my neck as he closed his eyes. My heart was now in my throat as I closed my eyes as well. With some air of confidence he touched his soft warm lips to mine. My head was spinning. He pulled back slightly and then crashed his lips into mine again, with more force this time. It was warm and wet and completely unlike any kiss I'd experienced before. His lips parted slightly and I felt his tongue trace lightly over my bottom lip. His breath was warm and hot, soothing. But then something hit me, overwhelming to the point that I thought I'd faint. It was pain. I pulled away from his kiss and pushed him back with my hands on his chest.

My eyes were wide as I stared at him. "Jake," I gasped. The pain was back. The horrible pain in my chest that had ebbed over the past weeks was back. I didn't know what was feeding it more. The betrayal I felt I'd committed towards Edward or the guilt I felt for leading Jake on. With his hand still on the back of my neck he pulled me towards him again.

"Jake, I'm sorry. I can't…" I didn't know how to continue. Wiggling out of his grasp, I stood up and turned to go but I couldn't leave. I sensed Jake get up and stand behind me.

"Bella. You know how I feel about you. You know how I care about you." Jake pleaded with me, his hands on my shoulders.

I turned to face him, "I'm just not ready Jake. I don't know if I ever will be."

His eyes became hard. "Bella. He's not coming back. He never loved you. But, I'm here Bella. I'll always be here."

"Jake, stop. Please."

"Bella, I love you." He pulled me closer to him and bent his face down to kiss me again. _Oh god, this isn't happening. What have I done? What am I going to do?_ I looked down in an effort to avoid his lips.

"I can't do this Jake. I can't just, turn it off." He knew what I was talking about. If he'd tried to deny it before, he knew now. I still loved Edward. Only Edward.

He sighed, dejected, "Come on…I'll take you home."

I shivered as I remembered the events of the previous night. The silence as we walked from the tide pools back to his bike was excruciating. When we got to Charlie's house and I got off the bike, his face was cold and expressionless. He didn't even look at me. He just sped off into the night.

I decided to let him cool off for a day or two before attempting the friendship talk. If I'd had any doubts about the depths of his feelings before, I knew now how much he cared for me. Knowing that, I wasn't sure he'd even accept that a friendship was all that I could offer. For now anyway. Still, I wasn't closed to the idea that I could develop more than friendly feelings for Jake. I had to hold out hope that there was love for me in my future, even though last night proved that I wouldn't be ready for some time.

I could understand his being upset. I knew he wanted more than friendship and I'd known that for a while. It was my fault for allowing that kiss to happen. For a brief moment after his lips found mine I almost felt myself let go, give into him. But now I knew, I wasn't ready. Would I ever be ready? Was I damaged beyond repair?


	8. Author's Note

**A/N: Sorry to do this guys. I'm working on Chapter 7 but I'm bringing a lot out so it's taking me a while. Also, I'm working on making my chapters longer. I could use some help from my readers though. I'm working on bringing Edward back, sending his family, or at least part of his family, to track him down. Does anyone remember any references on how Emmett found Edward? I don't want to copy the book, I'll be putting a different spin on it. But I want it to be realistic. How the heck did they find him not knowing where to look in the whole world? Thanks for any help and I'll be updating soon!**


	9. Chapter 7 w AN

**_AN: Before you begin Chapter 7, just a few words from me. I wanted to do more with this Chapter, but life through a vicious curve ball last week and I have not been able to write. So, I'm giving you this Chapter now since 1) an update is long overdue; and 2) I'm not sure when I'll be able to write more._**

_**Also, after this Chapter posts, I'll be changing my penname to RomansGirl.**_

_**Thanks for reading and please review. I promise I'll try really hard to update soon!**_

7.

_BPOV _

Three days. It had been three days since I'd seen or talked to Jake. I'd called his house numerous times but always got the machine. Why wasn't Billy answering? Could Jake really be this upset over the other night? I had to see him. If he'd just talk to me I know we could work this out. I would tell him just how much he meant to me and how much I needed him. I loved him too, only not in that way. Not yet. Maybe I just needed more time. I mean, we'd only spent a few short weeks together. Why was he moving so quickly? So many unanswered questions plagued me. I decided I needed to take a drive down to La Push.

It was nearly time for dinner when I got there. If Jake wasn't home, Billy had to be. The tension between Billy and I, at least on his end, had all but disappeared along with Edward. I guess I could ask him what was going on. I parked in front of Jake's house and I was ready to go inside when I noticed Jake running up from the beach, followed by Quill, Embry and Sam. What was Sam doing with them? They looked as if they'd been swimming. But that couldn't be, it was freezing outside.

"Bella, what are you doing here?" Jake's tone was almost harsh. "Jake, I just wanted to see you. Why haven't you returned my calls?" I tried to keep my voice steady. "Bella, you shouldn't be here. It's not a good idea." Jake was avoiding my eyes. Something definitely wasn't right. "I don't understand. I've been here almost every day this past month. What's wrong?" I didn't like having this conversation in front of an audience. Quill and Embry had gone into the house but Sam stood just a few feet behind Jake, watching and listening. "Can't we talk in private, Jake?" I willed him to look at me. "Wait here," he told me and he walked back to talk to Sam. I couldn't hear them but Sam looked stern. After a minute, he went into the house with the others.

"Jake, please tell me what's going on. I thought you didn't like Sam?" I grabbed his shoulder and turned him to look at his face. His skin was on fire. He jerked his shoulder away but he did look at me finally. His eyes were different. They had always been dark, but now they were piercing. "I was wrong about Sam, Bella. He's just trying to protect the reservation. I can't really say anything else, but it's better if you didn't come around here. At least for awhile until I can be sure it's safe." He was making absolutely no sense. "Until it's safe? What are you saying? Are you in danger, Jake? Let me help you." I pleaded with him. I was not going to allow this. I was not going to lose my best friend now too. What kind of protection did they need? And why wouldn't Billy just ask Charlie? My mind was exploding with questions and I knew there wasn't time to get answers. I saw Sam watching us from the front window. "Bella, please, just go. I can't say anything more." And with that he turned away from me and went into the house. Well, if he thought I was just going to drive away and forget about him, he was sadly mistaken. I decided to sit in my truck and wait. I'd wait all night and into the morning if I had to. I was not leaving La Push without some answers.

Although I was prepared to wait through the night, it wasn't long before Jake reappeared at my truck window. The others were waiting off the porch. Obviously he'd figured out that I wasn't going anywhere any time soon. "Bella, please go. I promise I'll talk to you soon. But I can't talk now, not in front of Sam." I started to ask him why again when he stopped me. "Please. I'm begging you. Actually, if you went home and thought about, I'm sure you could figure all of this out for yourself. Now go." His words were gentle this time, begging me to listen. He turned and went back towards the others. As I was driving away, I could see Sam yelling at Jake in the rear view mirror.

_APOV _

My visions kept blurring. I couldn't get a clear picture. Where was Bella going? I needed Jasper to help me relax. And as if he could sense my anxiety from downstairs, suddenly he was walking into our room. Jasper helped me calm down a little and then I closed my eyes again. Bella was at La Push. But something wasn't right. Jacob Black was there with some boys I didn't recognize and someone else. Who was it? It was Sam Uley. I suddenly felt very uneasy. Then my vision jumped and suddenly Bella had gone. But Sam was still there, arguing with Jacob before turning and running off into the woods. Why was he running into the woods? I kept searching. I felt an urgency to follow Sam. He was running so fast when all of a sudden…… "Jasper!!" I screamed as I came out of the vision.

"Jasper get the others, we have to find Edward!" I was hysterical. Jasper couldn't even control my hysterics. Hearing my scream, the rest of the family soon filed into the room. Before they even had time to ask I said, "Bella's in trouble with werewolves."


	10. Chapter 8

8.

_APOV _

Thankfully, Carlisle took charge before the whole family started bombarding me with the hundreds of questions written all over their faces. "Let's move this downstairs and Alice can explain this to us from the beginning." We all followed Carlisle to the living room and thankfully Jasper was able to calm me down enough to talk to them by the time we were all seated.

"Okay Alice, what do you think prompted this vision of Bella all of a sudden?" Carlisle would start that way, I groaned internally. But Bella's safety was at stake so I had to come clean. I told them everything. I told them I'd been checking up on Bella since we left, news that Rosalie was thrilled to hear, no doubt. She'd never been fond of Bella and my "spying" was obviously little help in that regard.

I explained how she had quickly deteriorated after Edward left her. I told them about the depression, the weight loss and Charlie's threats to have her committed. I opted to leave out the part about Jasper's and my interference in that situation.

I could see the worry on Esme's face. She was so happy when Edward found Bella and had taken an immediate liking to her. No, not just a liking, it was more than that. She had already started considering Bella as a daughter. Leaving her had broken Esme's heart, again. Poor Esme. She'd lived and died with a broken heart and it seemed that she was doomed to having it broken over and over for all of time.

Carlisle put his arm around her pulling her close to him in an effort to comfort her as I continued. I went on to tell them about her friendship with Jacob Black. I said that I'd been able to sense how Black was falling for Bella but that she still seemed to be holding back. It had crushed me to watch as Bella was coming close to moving on. I still believed that this was all just temporary. I believed that Edward would eventually come to his senses and come back to Bella, and to us. I wanted her back almost as much as I knew Edward did, wherever he was.

Finally, I told them of my last vision of Bella at La Push confronting Jacob and of Sam's transformation. It was obvious Jacob Black was a werewolf as well. We all knew of the La Push werewolves. Carlisle was there during the meeting with the elders of the Quileute tribe all those years ago and had actually petitioned the tribe for the treaty that was in place to this day. They agreed not to reveal our secret as long as we agreed to continue our "vegetarian" lifestyle and stay off of the reservation. However, none of us were aware that there remained an active pack on the reservation. Not only had Bella befriended the newest member of the pack, she'd unknowingly put herself in the middle of a conflict that had raged for centuries. Vampires and werewolves were mortal enemies.

"Stupid human girl!" Rosalie could contain her resentment no longer. "Only _Bella_ would fall in love with a vampire and then befriend a werewolf. She does have a death wish." Then she turned on me. "Alice, what do you expect us to do? Start a war with the La Push werewolves over some little girl? You shouldn't be watching her anyway. We moved away because of her. Edward left her and then he left us." She was really angry. I had expected Carlisle to step in, but instead it was Esme.

"Rosalie, that's enough." Esme spoke calmly and quietly but Rosalie obeyed. It didn't stop her seething looks though. "Alice, I wish you would have shared with us sooner. Bella's life has been spiraling out of control since Edward left. We all knew it was a mistake and we've all been waiting for Edward to realize that and return. But it's obvious we can't wait for him any longer." She looked over to Carlisle then, "What's the plan?"

_BPOV_

There was no way I could sleep. I don't even know why I laid in bed. Everything was twisted. I stared at the ceiling and struggled to make sense out of the whole thing. _'I'm sure you could figure all of this out for yourself',_ Jake's words kept rolling around in my head. Part of me was ready to just sink back down into my depression. First I lost Edward and now I was losing Jake. What had I done to deserve all of this? And how much more was I expected to take before I did lose all will to go on? It wasn't as if I had much will left in me anyway. But Jake had helped all of that. Jake had offered me an alternative to my depression and a way to exist without Edward. It wasn't the life I wanted or that I would have chosen, but at least it was a life. And it made Charlie so happy to see us together. I'd hurt Charlie so badly by my behavior it was nice to see him smiling after all I'd put him through. I couldn't put him through that all over again.

I sighed heavily and turned over. The alarm clock was staring me in the face. It read 2:30 a.m. I sighed again and rolled back over to stare at the ceiling once again. I needed to push my feelings aside and think about this logically. I started by analyzing all of the things that didn't make sense. And not just the most recent events, I tried to search back further. I thought back to the night that Jake and Billy had come over for dinner. It had been awhile since I'd seen him last and it wasn't much of a surprise that he'd changed quite a bit. In fact, he'd changed a lot. Jake was two years younger than me. And even though he'd always been taller, the way he'd filled out all of sudden was alarming. He wasn't built like any 16 year old boys that I knew. On the contrary, he seemed more like he was 19 or 20.

And it wasn't just physically that he'd matured, it was emotionally as well. I'd always sensed that Jake had a little crush on me. But lately that crush had begun to turn into something more. A longing had appeared on his face when he looked at me. And that night at the tide pools it wasn't just a kiss he'd been seeking. He wanted confirmation from me that his feelings were being returned. When I couldn't return the kiss with the same affection that he was giving and when I admitted to still having feelings for Edward, he'd turned so cold. He was hurt, obviously, but there was something deeper. It almost seemed like anger that seemed to resonate inside him, but not quite on the surface.

Then I thought about confronting him in front of Billy's house. He'd run up from the beach, soaking wet with no shirt. But when I touched him, his skin was hot. Almost as though he had a fever. And why was he with Sam? He'd just been confessing to me the way he felt Sam was manipulating some of his friends on the reservation. He spoke about Sam with such dislike. And now he was with him. And Quill and Embry too. I couldn't make sense of it. He'd said he'd been wrong about Sam. He'd said Sam was only trying to protect the reservation and that it was dangerous for me to be there.

Why all of a sudden was it dangerous for me to be on the reservation? The questions were screaming inside my head. And then I knew. It wasn't dangerous for me to be on the reservation. It was dangerous for me to be near Jake. I didn't have to ask the question why, I already knew. That night, at First Beach……

"_Do you like scary stories?" he asked ominously. "I _love_ them," I enthused, making an effort to smolder at him._

_"Do you know any of our old stories, about where we came from – the Quileutes, I mean?" he began._

"_Not really," I admitted._

"_Well, there are lots of legends, some of them claiming to date back to the Flood – supposedly, the ancient Quileutes tied their canoes to the tops of the tallest trees on the mountain to survive like Noah and the ark." He smiled, to show me how little stock he put in the histories. "Another legend claims that we descended from wolves – and that the wolves are our brothers still. It's against tribal law to kill them._

"_Then there are the stories about the _cold ones._" His voice dropped a little lower._

"_The cold ones?" I asked, not faking my intrigue now._

"_Yes. There are stories of the cold ones as old as the wolf legends, and some much more recent. According to legend, my own great-grandfather knew some of them. He was the one who made the treaty that kept them off our land." He rolled his eyes._

"_Your great-grandfather?" I encouraged._

_"He was a tribal elder, like my father. You see, the cold ones are the natural enemies of the wolf – well, not the wolf, really, but the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves."_

Oh my. The truth hit me like a ton of bricks. I sat up in my bed, practically hyperventilating at the realization of the situation. And then I remembered the worst part, as if it could really get any worse.

_"Werewolves have enemies?" _

_"Only one."_


	11. Chapter 9

9.

_EPOV _

I had to get out of that attic. I'd been hiding above that run-down tavern on the outskirts of Brazil for so long that I was beginning to go mad. Depression and self-loathing I could handle. But with madness comes carelessness and danger. I did not want to risk exposing myself. Nor did I want the monster within me to waken and fall victim to the temptation I'd suppressed for centuries. So I left.

I couldn't go home. Not yet, at least. I could feel the beginnings of the need to see my family and I knew it'd only be a matter of time before I'd return to them. Though whether or not I'd stay I couldn't be sure. In the meantime, I'd found myself wandering through the mountains of California, Oregon, and along the southern border of Washington. I'd given up on starvation, and as far as hunting purposes went, this was terrain with which I was very familiar.

I knew I'd been drifting dangerously north, but I had already won the internal battle against my heart. I would NOT return to Forks. A few weeks ago I was hit with a sudden temptation to go see Bella. Not that I didn't battle similar temptations daily. But this one was different. There was urgency to it. I wasn't going to speak to her. I only wanted to watch her from a distance. Just to see if she was in fact real and not a figment of my imagination. But I promised her I'd leave her alone so she could move on and live a normal life. I truly wanted that for Bella.

The facts were simple. She deserved more than I could ever give her. She deserved someone that didn't thirst for her blood, threatening the existence of her soul simply by being near her. She deserved someone that could love her beyond the physical boundaries that I was held to. I hated those boundaries. I hated that I had to be so damned careful all the time. I had to be careful when I kissed her. Oh how I wished I could kiss her deeply and thoroughly, tasting the warmth of her mouth. I had to be careful when I caressed her, cautious not to allow the burning of her skin to cause me to lose control. Oh how I wanted so many times to be able to let go and allow my hands to explore every inch of her, feeling the warmth of her skin burn against my cold touch. I had to be so careful I could never love her fully or give myself to her the way a man gives himself to a woman. And though I knew I'd suffer those temptations for eternity just to remain close to her, she deserved someone that could love her wholly and who wasn't bound by physical limitations. She also deserved someone that wouldn't force her to a life deprived of the sun, someone who was human and full of life and a beating heart just like her. She deserved someone who could give her children. I could never give her any of those things.

With that realization, I knew. I knew I had to leave her. And though I told myself I was leaving her for her own good, my reasons were more selfish. I knew it would only be a matter of time before she lost all interest in me. She would realize everything she'd have to give up because of me and she would decide that I wasn't worth it. She'd know that she didn't really love me and that I was just a crush or infatuation. She would leave me. And I wouldn't be able to bear it. So I told her I was leaving.

"_Bella, I don't want you to come with me."_

_"You…don't…want me?"_

"_No."_

The words flooded back to me like acid through my veins. I knew my words had hurt her, but it was nothing compared to the hurt it brought upon me. She had believed me without hesitation. Beyond of a shadow of a doubt she was convinced that I didn't want her, didn't love her. I wanted to grab her and shake her and ask her how she could believe such a viscous lie. How many times had I told her I loved her and that I couldn't exist without her? It just made it that much easier for me to believe that she couldn't truly love me and that she'd get over me and move on.

_"I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed."_

I wouldn't break my promise to her. I would not go back.

_"Don't worry. You're human – your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind."_

She had probably already moved on and forgotten about me. I wonder how long it had taken her? Unfortunately for me, I could never move on or forget. I didn't want to move on or forget. Bella would be with me for the rest of my existence. Just the memory of her face, well, it wasn't enough but I could survive.

I crawled out from the cavern between the rocks that I'd found to rest in and started walking. I'd hunted so much recently that I thought I'd find my way back to civilization for a while and decide my next move from there. Since I had no limitations of time and nowhere in particular to go, I was content to just walk. I'd hiked past some camping grounds and had probably gone several miles when the smell hit me. It was almost as if I'd run right into a wall. I recalled the memory of the smell as if it were yesterday. I couldn't suppress the growls and snarls and it was as if the carrier were right in front of me. She had been here, through this very passage of trees. Victoria!

_APOV _

Of course Carlisle had a plan, only it wasn't what Esme or I had in mind. Or for that matter, what Emmett had in mind. If it were left up to Emmett, we'd have marched straight onto the Quileute reservation and started a war. Esme and I wanted to go directly to Bella and together track down Edward and put an end to all of this nonsense. Rosalie was just furious that our life had once again returned focus onto Bella. And Jasper, well, Jasper just tried to keep me in a happy state of mind.

But Carlisle had instructed that we not jump the gun on this. Jasper and I were to return to our home in Forks where I would be closer and more "in-tune" with what was going on with Bella. He'd also asked that I make more attempts to check in on the whereabouts of Edward. We were to wait a couple of weeks and if my visions did not turn up anything on Edward or show any danger in Bella's friendship with Jacob Black and the werewolves, we were to come home.

It was extremely difficult to be back at the house in Forks. There were so many memories here. Forks had been really wonderful for our family. And then Edward met Bella here and our lives changed completely. Being in the house again only made missing Edward and Bella more difficult. I was so thankful to have Jasper there with me or I probably would've gone crazy.

As Carlisle had asked, I'd been constantly watching Bella's future. It was hard though, because of the werewolves. Their future wasn't quite as clear to me unless Bella was directly involved. And lately it seemed that she hadn't had much involvement at all. I watched her go through her mundane ritual of school and dinners with Charlie, but knowing Bella, I could see something going on behind her eyes. I wouldn't feel okay about her safety until I could see what exactly she was planning.

I had been able to catch a few, small glimpses of Edward. He was hunting. It was too difficult to tell where he was exactly, just amongst some trees or maybe up in the mountains. But it was the most I'd seen of him in months. I was very excited to call home with the news. The fact that Edward was out and hunting gave us hope that he was beginning to come out of his blind depression and maybe coming to his senses. It was enough to convince Carlisle that Jasper and I should stay just a little longer. But I knew I'd need something more if I were to get the whole family to return.

It had been about a week since I first started seeing visions of Edward hunting. I was desperately searching for some indication that he was on his way home, or maybe even on his way back to see Bella.

Bella's plan was beginning to show itself more clearly as I could see she was planning on tagging along with Charlie down to La Push at the end of the week. The outcome of the trip hadn't shown me anything dangerous however.

After taking a break for an afternoon hunt with Jasper, I was actually trying not to visualize anything. I was resting on the couch with TV on, not really watching anything and wishing in vain I had the ability to take a nap when I was overcome with a vision. Jasper was right there when I came out of it.

"Alice, tell me what you saw." He could tell it was big news by the way the vision came on by itself, without my prompting.

"Edwards tracking something. It has to be serious. His eyes are so transfixed. Jasper, I think he's on his way to Forks."

**_Hey everyone! Thanks for reading! I'd really like to have some more reviews, so if you've taken the time to read my story so far, please send me a review. I've had over 800 reads but less than 20 reviews._**

**_Thanks to Stupid Shiny Volvo Driver for your wonderful support and reviews and thanks also to Mollytigerc for reviewing as well!!_**


	12. Chapter 10

10.

_JPOV _

It was killing me to stay away from Bella. But Sam's instructions were very stern. Not only did she have ties to the bloodsuckers, I wasn't mature enough as a wolf to control myself around her. He was right too. Now that I knew what I was, I knew about the bloodsuckers. And the fact that Bella had actually been in love with one of them disgusted me. Worse than that, I knew that she _still_ loved him. The thought of her together with that leech made me so angry that I couldn't control the wolf inside me. But I knew I could not afford to lose my temper in front of Bella so I was glad she'd taken my advice and just stayed away.

I was positive that she'd figured out my secret by now or she would have shown up with more questions. I actually found it a bit troubling that she was staying away. Was she so repulsed by what I'd become that she didn't want to see me anymore? Or was it something much worse? Now knowing that I was the natural enemy of her beloved, vampire boyfriend she probably never wanted to see me again. It didn't seem to matter for _her_ that he had left her. Her feelings for him hadn't wavered.

I couldn't blame Bella for the hold that Edward had had over her. After all, he was a bloodsucker. Vampires are supposed to be appealing to their _prey._ The word made me shudder. But he didn't suck her dry. He left her. So why wasn't the spell broken? How could she still have feelings for him, especially after all this time? I knew I'd never have answers to these questions. Bella had not been willing to talk to me about her relationship with Edward before I was a wolf. There was no way she'd tell me anything now.

I couldn't waste time dwelling on that right now anyway. Sam and the rest of the pack were expecting me. We had to prepare. There had been a string of random killings over the past few weeks starting in northern California and it appeared by the trail of victims that the killer was heading this way. We knew from the descriptions of the victims' bodies that we were dealing with a vampire and only one by the looks of things. Of course the media didn't have a clue. One of their theories even placed the blame for the attacks on a wolf pack. Stupid. We don't kill for fun or sport or even for food. Our sole purpose for existence is to protect the humans from the vampires.

Vile leeches. If I'd gone through my transformation a year ago I could have saved Bella from all the heartache she's endured. I was sure that if she'd met me first that she'd be with me now. Her heart would be available for me without any ties or limitations. But there was still hope for Bella and I. I wouldn't let myself believe any differently. And if that parasite ever thought of setting a foot near Bella again, I'd gladly crush him.

_BPOV _

I sat at the table doodling on the back of my trig homework. I hadn't been able to concentrate on school lately. It had been nearly two weeks since I'd confronted Jacob down at La Push. I had figured out his secret fairly quickly but wasn't sure where to go from there. That explained how ridiculously huge he'd gotten. But the fact that he was a werewolf - _still not quite used to that term - _didn't change the way I felt about Jake. At first all I could do was think about how the werewolves' mortal enemy was the vampire. But that shouldn't be a problem since there were no longer any vampires in Forks. _Ouch, that hurt. _The problem was that he just didn't seem like Jake anymore. I wondered if it was just because all of this was new. Would the old Jake resurface? He had too. He was all that I had left. I could not lose him because of this. So, I made up my mind. I would go back to La Push and tell Jake that it didn't matter to me what he was. I loved him for _who_ he was. He was my best friend.

I was worried if I went to see Jake alone that I wouldn't be able to see speak to him. I knew Sam probably wouldn't let him talk to me. So I had to find another way. But how, I wondered? I didn't have to wonder for long. Just then, Charlie got home. And I was already plotting a way to get him to make a trip down to La Push.

I fussed around the kitchen a little and finished setting the table for dinner. I wasn't quite sure how to start though. Should I just come out and ask him? But wouldn't he find it suspicious for me to ask him to drive me when I could just as easily drive myself?

"Smells good, Bells."

"Thanks, Dad."

Charlie took a big bite of fried chicken and I knew if there was any hope for a conversation it would be left up to me, as Charlie would be content to eat in silence.

"So, Dad," I decided to start casually, "any plans for the weekend?" There, put the ball in his court.

"Not really. Things have been pretty slow around town lately. Although there have been some unsolved murders just south of Washington. I'll probably just hang around the house and watch the games. How about you? You haven't spent much time with Jacob lately. Everything okay?"

Perfect! I had an in! "I think he hasn't been feeling well. I probably should go see him." I waited to see how he'd respond.

"Maybe I'll just take a drive down and see Billy tomorrow. I'm sure he'll be watching the games too and you could come along to visit Jacob."

Well, that couldn't have gone any better. "Sounds great, Dad." I smiled at Charlie and started clearing the dishes.

That night as I lay in bed I was comforted by the fact that I'd be seeing Jake tomorrow. I would tell him that it didn't matter that he was a werewolf. Inside he was still Jake. I'd tell him how much he meant to me and that I was for him. And, if he needed to space, time to himself to work things out, I would understand. I owed him that. At least that, after all he'd done for me.

With a sense of peace that I hadn't felt in a long time, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.


	13. Chapter 11

11.

_BPOV_

Usually Friday's at school went by rather quickly, even for me. However, I didn't think this day would ever end. I was so anxious to see Jake. The past two weeks had been hell all over again, not being able to see Jake or talk to him. I'd figured out his secret like he wanted me to and I was ready to move forward. I would be the friend to him that he had been for me. I almost felt relieved that he was a werewolf and not involved in some crazy cult or a gang. _Wow! I really needed to work on my ideas of normalcy. Vampires and werewolves? I'm sure there is a padded room out there somewhere with my name on it._

Last period was the worst. Gym. We'd had a substitute the last two days so Coach Clapp was gonna make sure we got a workout today. He divided us into four teams for basketball. At least we were playing half-court. I wouldn't have to run as much. Check that. I wouldn't have to _fall _as much. Forty minutes and two banged up knees later I was on my way to the parking lot.

I rushed home although I knew Charlie wouldn't be home for at least an hour. I went upstairs to change and the eeriest feeling came over me, like someone was watching. I went over to peer outside my bedroom window but of course I didn't see anything. _Ridiculous, I thought to myself._ I decided to change in the bathroom anyway. Then I headed down to the kitchen to fix myself a snack. As I was looking through the cupboards I turned around suddenly, sure that someone was behind me. My heart was racing and I could hear it, echoing in the empty kitchen. _Slam!_ I almost jumped out my skin when I heard Charlie shut the door on the cruiser. Why was he home so early? And what the heck was the matter with me? I was trying to massage the goose bumps off my arms when Charlie walked in.

"Hey Bells. What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"It's nothing. You kinda spooked me actually. I wasn't expecting you so soon." I lied, a little embarrassed that my imagination had caused such an obvious reaction.

"Oh, sorry. Slow day. I thought I'd cut out early. You still want to come with me to Billy's?"

"Sure, whenever you're ready."

"Okay, just give me a second to change out of this uniform."

Thirty-five minutes later we were on our way to La Push. Good gravy I thought he'd never come downstairs. He was worse than I was. I knew I was only being impatient because I was anticipating seeing Jake, but still.

We drove in silence down to the reservation, neither one of us feeling the need to talk. Charlies' and my relationship was just that way. It was nice actually. Being comfortable without feeling the need to force conversation. It had made the transition of moving here to Forks last year pretty smooth. We'd fallen right into a routine that worked for both of us. Polite conversation over dinner and then we'd go our separate ways, Charlie to the couch and me to my room. Occasionally I would sit in and watch a game or two with him, to keep him company. I never could really follow what was going on, sports were beyond me. But Charlie seemed to enjoy having me there.

As we pulled up to Billy's house I had to make a mental note to calm down. I resisted the urge to throw the car door open and run up to the porch, instead getting out casually and following Charlie up the steps. But I couldn't help but hold my breath a little as he knocked on the door.

"Charlie, this is a surprise! You here for business or pleasure?" Billy laughed as he moved aside to allow Charlie room to go inside. Then he noticed I was behind Charlie. "Oh, hey Bella. It's nice to see you." He seemed nervous.

"Hey Billy, I thought you might want some company for the game tonight. Should I have called first?"

"Nonsense old friend. Make yourself at home."

Charlie and I sat on the couch and I couldn't resist the urge any longer.

"Billy, is Jacob around?" I tried to sound innocent.

"Actually, he's not home." I tried not to let the disappoint show on my face. "He may be home a little later." Billy didn't sound very convincing.

Well this is just great. Stuck here with Charlie and Billy watching some nonsense basketball game. I'd had my share of basketball for the day. It was hard not to pout. And Billy wasn't making it any easier. He kept giving me nervous glances. What did he think I was here to do? Expose Jake's secret or tell Charlie about Sam and the others? _"Please just let Jake get here soon." I prayed silently._

"Bells? Bella, honey, wake up." I heard Charlie's voice.

"Wha-at? Is Jake here?" I rubbed my eyes groggily.

"No. The game is over. It's time to go."

"Oh!" I got up quickly. I can't believe I fell asleep. Worse than that, I didn't even get to see Jake. What a waste.

On the way home I couldn't decide if I was just disappointed or if I was angry. I shouldn't be angry though. It's not like Jake knew I was coming or anything. Or did he? Did he purposely stay away? Or was Sam behind this? I decided to let the anger win over the disappointment and by the time we got back home I was seething.

I quickly told Charlie goodnight and ran upstairs, tripping on the last step but managing to catch myself before my face smacked the floor. Ugh! Who the hell does Jake think he is? Or Sam? And Sam? Or, whoever? I was really mad. Just as I was debating sneaking out and driving back down to the reservation I heard a scratching outside my window. I froze momentarily, the eeriness of when I was home earlier creeping back, when I saw Jake peeking through the window.

I opened the window and he climbed in without effort. Damn werewolf.

"What do you think you're doing here Jacob Black? You better not let Charlie hear you." I warned him, trying to sound stern as I whispered.

"I thought you wanted to talk or something. Didn't you come with Charlie earlier to see me?"

I wasn't buying his innocence. "Like you didn't know I was there." I accused.

"Bella, I swear. We were on the other side of the reserva…" He stopped suddenly and then glared at me with angry eyes.

"Where is he?!" He snarled at me.

I was taken aback. Where had this sudden hostility come from? "Jake, what are you talking about?"

"You know _who_ I'm talking about. Your leech boyfriend. He's back isn't he?"

I didn't like seeing this side of Jake. It scared me. I knew this was a part of him now and although I was willing to accept it, I was definitely not used to it.

"I swear, Jake, I don't know what you're talking about. No one has been here." Why would he think Edward was here? He couldn't be here, could he?

"Bella, I can smell him. Your whole room reeks with the stench of vampire."

I could see Jake was losing it. He was trembling and his eyes were black. He was speaking through gritted teeth. Oh, please don't let him phase into a wolf. I don't think I could handle seeing that right now. And I definitely wouldn't be able to hide a werewolf from Charlie.

"Is that why you came to see me tonight? After two weeks of not calling? I thought you came to tell me that you figured out my secret. But you came to tell me your little bloodsucker was back."

I thought I was going to lose it myself. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. "Jake, I swear I don't know what you're talking about. I came to tell you that I didn't care if you're a werewolf. I can't stand to lose you Jake. Not over this." The sobs were uncontrollable now and the pain was back. I clutched at my chest. Why was Jake doing this? Why would he think Edward was back?

"You can't protect him Bella. If I catch him near you I'll rip him to shreds."

With that he leapt from my window and disappeared. I fell to my knees and let the crying overtake me. _What just happened?_

I crawled over to my bed, switched off the lamp, and got under the covers. I buried my face into my pillow and let go. No sense trying to protect myself now, my whole world was falling apart around me. I was going to lose Jake. I felt it now. It wasn't up to me or Jake or even Sam at this point. The werewolf in him was going to win this battle. My past relationship with vampires was not going to allow a friendship to continue with Jake. It would be against what he was now.

Could he really smell Edward in my room after all this time? It just didn't seem possible. His scent had lingered for a while, on my blankets and stuff. And I held onto it as long as I could, but eventually it did fade. Even with his heightened senses, I didn't see how Jake would be able to smell him. Besides, he was in my room two weeks ago and hadn't noticed anything.

Then I thought about earlier, when I felt I was being watched. Could someone _have_ been here? Did I dare let my mind, or my heart, entertain the notion that Edward had returned? But what reason would he possible have to come back? He'd made it perfectly clear that he didn't love me, that he didn't want me anymore. Dare I hope that he'd had a change of heart and come back? I clutched at my chest once again as I continued crying until I passed out.

With what had transpired that evening, it was not a surprise that my sleep would once again be plagued with nightmares.

I was walking with Jake, hand in hand. We were in the woods. Things seemed calm and easy, just the way they were before. There was no tension between us and yet I could tell by looking at Jake that this was after his "transformation".

_We walked and talked without a care in the world when we seemed to be approaching a clearing. When we got to the spot where the light broke through the trees I realized that we were not at a clearing. We were at the meadow, Edwards' and my meadow. I walked towards the center of the meadow. I'd dropped Jake's hand but I could feel the warmth of him right behind me._

_Jake let out a slight growl and I turned to face him. But his eyes wouldn't find mine. They were looking past me towards the far edge of the meadow. He was trembling and I could see from his black eyes that he was trying in vain to hold himself together. I turned around to see what was causing him to lose control and there, standing just out of the sun under the shade of the bordering trees was Edward. My Edward. And he'd come back, for me. He smiled my favorite crooked smile, seemingly unaware of Jake, and he held out his arms for me. I didn't hesitate. I ran into his embrace and melted in his arms. And it felt exactly how I'd remembered. His cold, stone-like arms wrapped me up and I felt his cool lips on the top of my head._

_Just then, I heard Jake erupt behind us. I turned to see his body explode into his wolf form. I was in awe. I didn't see how this enormous _beast_ fit inside Jake's body. I didn't have time to ponder the thought though as he was crouched and ready to pounce. I braced myself back up against Edward as if I could offer him any protection from the wolf that was poised and ready to attack. _

_Suddenly Jake leapt for us. I screamed for him to stop and as I turned once again to hide inside Edward's arms it wasn't Edward anymore. I found myself in the grasps of a fiery redhead. Her eyes were crimson and dripping with lust. Victoria!_


	14. Chapter 12

**_Sorry it took so long for this update guys. Bear with me as I am a working mom with 3 kids. I appreciate all the readers that have stayed with me and of course welcome the new readers with open arms. _**

**_I really wanted this chapter to be a little longer. Within the next chapter or two, I'll be getting more into the guts of the story so hopefully the chapters will be longer._**

**_Many, many thanks to Stupid Shiny Volvo Driver for all of her words of encouragement. I may have stopped writing if it weren't for her._**

**_I can see a vast improvement in my writing just since I've started this story. So I hope everyone sticks with me until the end on this one. I promise to not disappoint!!_**

12.

_EPOV _

I'd been so consumed in self-pity that I'd forgotten all about Victoria. After James had kidnapped Bella last year and Jasper and Emmett had killed him, we worried briefly about Victoria seeking revenge for her mate. But we'd never had any proof or indication that she was out to avenge James' death. Alice hadn't had any visions of her and we'd not noticed her scent around Forks.

But she had traveled through here not to long ago, and the trail of her scent that I'd been following was heading straight towards Forks. Was this what had been plaguing me a few weeks ago? The sudden, urgent need to see Bella, was I sensing something that my conscious had yet been made aware?

How could I have been so foolish? How could I have left Bella? I should have stayed behind to watch her and take care of her. I knew she was a magnet for danger. But I was so determined for her to have a normal life, without me in it, that I'd completely disregarded her safety. Even if she decided one day that she didn't truly love me, how could I leave her to fend for herself?

I continued to mentally berate myself as I tracked Victoria's scent. I thought for a moment about calling my family. If they left Denali now, they would arrive in Forks not to long after I made it there. They could help. I hadn't heard from them in over a month. They called periodically, to check on me I suppose. But I never answered.

No. I can't drag them back into this mess. They deserved a life of peace too. I would take care of Victoria myself. Bella would never even need to know about it. And then I would stay by and watch over her. I doubted, however that after all this time, I had the strength to not reveal my presence. I could very easily see myself running to her and begging for her forgiveness, to be let back into her life. Not that I deserved it. But, what if?

_APOV _

After having the vision of Edward tracking, I called Carlisle immediately and he and the others were already on their way down here from Denali. It was more activity than I'd gotten from Edward in months. And whatever he was tracking, it seemed more like he was on a warpath straight towards Forks.

There was no reason to think that Edward returning to Forks had anything to do with Bella at this point. But we weren't going to take any chances on his safety either. It was obvious from the look in his eyes that when he got a hold of what or who he was tracking, there was going to be a fight. I briefly wondered if it had anything to do with the werewolves but immediately dismissed the thought. Edward would never pick a fight and deliberately start a war with the Quileutes. Would he? Did he know about Bella and Jacob Black? But how could he? It didn't seem possible. All this second-guessing was making my head hurt.

I was mentally exhausted from all the visions I'd been having over the past weeks. I didn't know how much longer I could keep it up and I was thankful that my family would soon be here to help with the situation.

Jasper was wonderful in the way he was trying so hard to keep me sane. His calming effects could really be wonderful. Unfortunately, there was little he could do when visions kept overtaking me. His power was useless up against them.

Out of boredom and the need for a distraction, I'd begun cleaning the kitchen. As vampires, we didn't really have much need for the kitchen. We didn't cook or eat, obviously. That was one of the nice parts about having Bella around. Esme actually bought some groceries to keep in the house for when Bella would visit. I opened one of the cupboards and smiled at the jar of peanut butter still sitting in there. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were one of the few things any of us could make for Bella.

And just as I was remembering Bella, I was suddenly hit with a vision. I could see Bella's house, her truck in the driveway. Charlie wasn't home. I could see the light on in Bella's window, but couldn't tell if she was in her room for sure. My attention was diverted to the trees behind her house. Someone was out there, watching. The werewolves? It would make sense; I always had trouble seeing them. Could Edward be there? No, he was still traveling.

I could see the branches moving. I just needed a glimpse to figure out who it was. And then I saw her.

"Oh my God! Jasper! Jasper, come quick!" He was by my side instantly.

"Alice, what? You're scaring me! What did you see?" Jasper was frantic and was doing little to calm me at the moment.

"It's Victoria, Jasper! She's after Bella! That's who Edward is tracking!"

I was screaming at him but I couldn't stop myself. I felt dizzy and nauseated. Is that even possible for a vampire? The room had started spinning. My vision gave me no indication of how far out in the future this was occurring. It could be weeks away or Victoria could be outside of Bella's house now.

I looked again. I had to know how much time we had and prayed we weren't already too late. It seemed Victoria was still plotting, biding her time. I couldn't see her making any permanent decisions. Perhaps it was the werewolves causing her delay. Yes! She had to smell their presence, at least Jacob Black's scent, around Bella's house. I wasn't pleased with Bella's relationship with Jacob to say the least. But if some good could come out of, her safety, then so be it.

"Jasper, we need to call Edward."

"He won't answer. He's hasn't answered any of our calls since he left."

"He'll answer. He's obviously following Victoria back to Forks to save Bella." _'Edward, please answer.'_ I prayed silently as the phone rang.

_JPOV _

What am I doing here? I cursed myself as I neared Bella's house. I could smell the leech already, almost as if he'd just been here. I don't blame Bella for not telling me. She was obviously back with him. Filthy bloodsucker shatters her heart into a thousand pieces, leaving me to put her back together, and then waltzes back into her life and she stands there with open arms.

I wasn't kidding when I told Bella I'd crush him. But Sam put an end to those fantasies real quick. If I so much as touched the leech, I'd be breaking the treaty. Sam thought it best if I just stayed away from Bella all together. After all, I still didn't have much control and if provoked I may not be able to control myself. At least I was progressing faster than the others.

It was quickly becoming dusk as I settled behind a tree allowing myself a good view of Bella's window. Her light was on and I could see her silhouette moving behind the curtains. It would only be a matter of time before _he_ would show up. I knew he used to spend the nights with her in her room after Charlie went to sleep.

I went over in my head the words I would say to him. I knew I wouldn't have much time to speak to him before I wouldn't be able to control the wolf inside of me from erupting. I would warn him that I'd be watching every move he made where Bella was concerned and that if he had any sense of self-preservation, he would leave. This time for good.


	15. Chapter 13

**_I hate to start out with one of these, but I really want to thank all of my loyal readers. Especially those of you who have reviewed and helped me in areas I'm slacking. You know who you are ; )_**

**_Anyway, it's been suggested that I may need to remind readers of a few things. So I tried to write a short summary before we continue on with the new chapter._**

**_Chp 12 left Alice & Jasper at the house in Forks with the rest of their family on their way back from Denali. Alice's visions had shown Bella with Jake after he became a werewolf. Alice & Jasper returned to make sure she was safe. Without her knowledge, of course. Meanwhile, Edward began hunting in Northern California and through Oregan and even farther north into Washington when he came across Victoria's scent. He's followed her to Forks and is now determined to protect Bella._**

**_And with that, here we go..._**

13.

_EPOV _

I turned my phone off after speaking with Alice. I needed to think and didn't want any more interruptions. I can't say that I was _that_ surprised that Alice had watched Bella. I'd get the rest of the details later when I met up with her and Jasper, and from the sound of it, the rest of the family. I was not looking forward to a reunion right now. I had no doubt that Carlisle would be standing there with opened arms, but I wasn't sure I could face them.

I could tell Alice had been holding something back. I figured it was the fact that Bella had probably moved on with her life and fallen in love with someone else. I didn't allow my imagination to entertain any notions of whom that someone else could be.

As I neared the borders of Forks, I felt a sensation like nothing I'd known before. It was almost like a rush, but more painful than exhilarating. If my heart weren't dead, it'd be throbbing right now. My breath caught in my throat as I inhaled the familiar scents of my surroundings. And I was again reminded of the vile creature that I was for forcing our family to leave the one place that we always called home.

If I were being honest with myself, I'd also have to acknowledge the fear I was feeling. So many times I had wanted to return just for a glimpse of the angel that had once graced my life. But I'd always resisted, reminding myself of the promise I'd made to her. But mostly because I knew I wouldn't be satisfied with only watching. I knew I'd crumble at her feet and beg to be part of her life again. I also knew that she would reject me, and that I could not live with. Bella had always been to good for me. She was so pure and full of life. So human. I did not deserve her.

I wrestled with these emotions as I knew her house would be within my sight after only a few more feet. I wrestled with my desire to see her and touch her and hold her once again. I tried so hard to push those feelings deep inside so I could concentrate on the reason I had returned, to protect Bella from Victoria.

I slowed to a walking pace as I neared the small patch of forest that lay behind Bella's house when I stopped suddenly. It was as if I'd run right into a wall. Only instead of brick, this wall was made up of a horrible, putrid stench. I knew the stench all too well. The vampire in me knew this stench even if wasn't personally familiar. It was the smell of our mortal enemies, the werewolves.

But how? Why? The only wolves around here were the La Push werewolves and they hadn't had an active pack in centuries. Not only that, they never left the reservation. Could Alice and Jasper's returning to Forks have prompted their coming out? No, that couldn't be. The treaty. Our family was not a threat to them. Could it be Victoria? Had they already picked up on her scent? Even if they had, it didn't matter. As long as we were in Forks, this was our territory. Victoria was ours to deal with. More specifically, mine. _I_ would be the one to end her existence. She was my responsibility and no one else's. After all, it was my relationship with Bella that had sparked the escapade with James, her mate.

Even after reaching that conclusion, I couldn't shake the feeling that something deeper loomed on the horizon.

And then I heard him. Not his voice, but his mind. Someone else out there was watching Bella as well. A werewolf. And he was watching her with a familiarity that made me almost double over. Who was this boy and what was his connection with Bella? I listened more intently, careful not to give away my presence.

'_I hate this. Reduced to spying on her, like _I'm_ the enemy in this. I wish I could talk to her, maybe I could get through that stubborn skin of hers. But I know I can't talk to her while _he_ is in there.'_

He? Someone was obviously inside with Bella. And this boy, whoever he was, didn't seem to like it. No more than I did. More puzzling than who may be inside with Bella was this boy. He was obviously a werewolf. He had to be to smell _that_ bad. Had he been assigned by the pack to watch over Bella because they knew about Victoria's presence? That seemed a likely explanation. But it did not explain the personal connection that I could sense. So I listened more.

_'Ugh! I was this close. This close to making her mine. I could see it in her eyes at the tide pools. I know I moved a little too quickly with the kiss, but I could feel her reaching out to me. Her feelings for me were growing. I felt it. But now he's in the way.'_

I literally thought I was going to be sick. Worse than his words were the images coming at me from his mind. I could see him with Bella through various memories he was having, holding her hand, laughing with her, walking with his arm around her, _kissing her!_ It took every ounce of strength I had not to run at him and destroy him right then and there. How dare he? Bella was mine.

I was consumed with anger and hatred for this boy. I didn't even know his name. But it didn't matter. He was insignificant to me. It gave me little comfort that she had obviously rejected him and had moved onto someone else. I had to get out of here before I totally lost control.

Hopefully Alice would be able to answer some of these questions that roared through my head. Only Bella would get herself mixed up with a vampire and then move on and get mixed up with a werewolf. I just couldn't see how it could have happened. What could she possibly see in a filthy dog? Did she know what he was? My gut told me she did.

The run from Bella's house to my old one took only a matter of minutes. I barged through the front door into the familiar home I'd forced us to abandon all those months ago.

"Alice!" I shouted for her although I knew she was already aware of my arrival.

"Why didn't you tell me? Bella and a werewolf? What is going on, Alice?" My words were harsher than I intended but I knew Alice would forgive me later.

"We didn't know where you were when it was happening. You wouldn't even answer your phone. I knew you'd find out once you got here. I was just hoping we'd have a chance to talk to you first."

"Well, now's your chance. Start talking."

I listened as she again went over the visions she'd been having of Bella after I'd left. It pained me like nothing I've ever felt before to hear how she'd crumbled after I left. I truly was a monster. My intentions for her to live a normal, happy life, no matter how honorable, meant nothing knowing what she'd gone through. It was not a normal, happy life.

I was overcome with grief when I heard how Alice and Jasper had snuck back to Forks to try to prevent Charlie from putting Bella in an institution. I could see her through their memories as they watched her from afar. She was so thin. And her face was sullen and wrought with sadness. Her eyes were empty. There was no life at all left in them. I'd stolen it all when I left her.

I sat through the details of Bella's growing relationship with Jacob Black. I should have known. Although I really couldn't be expected to recognize him. Since the change he'd obviously grown quite a bit from the lanky youth I remembered.

Hearing Alice talk about their _friendship_ brought back the images I'd just experienced through Jacob's mind a short time ago. What Alice saw as just a friendship to Bella was obviously something more to Jacob Black.

My hands were at my side and clenched so tightly into fists that they almost begun to ache. How could I have let this happen? A monster I may be, but I was not a werewolf. I'm sure Bella has no inkling of a clue about the kind of danger she was in spending time with a werewolf. They were unstable at best. The slightest hint of danger or rage and their transformation would be unstoppable. Heaven help anyone who may be close to them when it happens.

I didn't even realize that Alice had stopped talking. I looked up at her, waiting for her to finish. But she just stared at me.

"What about this other guy? Jacob said she's with someone else."

"There is no one else. Jacob thinks she's back with you."

My eyes were wide with alarm. If Jacob thinks _I'm_ the vampire with Bella then they don't know about Victoria. Which means that instead of being there to protect Bella like I should be right now, I've left her under the protection of an unstable, lovesick werewolf.


	16. Chapter 14

14.

_BPOV_

I sat at the kitchen table, mindlessly stirring the cereal around the bowl with my spoon. I'd been that way so long that the cereal already turned to mush, and I hadn't even taken a bite.

I couldn't believe I'd lost everything, again. This time, however, I _would_ just wither away and die. There'd be no knight in shining armor to piece me back together. I couldn't even manage to fake it for Charlie anymore. He hadn't started with the threats of putting me into an institution although I'm sure that the thought had already crossed his mind over the past week.

One week. It had only been one week since Jake pulled that stunt in my room, trumping me with my memories of Edward. I don't know what he was trying to accomplish by his cruel accusations. Edward was definitely NOT back in my life. The whole thing was probably orchestrated by Sam as a way to keep Jake away from me. And it worked. Whatever. Jake had hurt me so badly that I didn't care to see him either. So there. Everyone happy now?

No. I was definitely not happy. Old wounds have been reopened and my heart once again shattered by the flooding of memories that came back to haunt me. Memories of him. Of Edward. I no longer tried to avoid the thought of his name. Instead, I welcomed the pain of it, inviting it to flow through my veins. It offered very little in the way of the burning that I truly longed to feel. The burning that I'd only had a small taste of after James had bitten me.

I touched the scar on my hand as I remembered that day. The scar was cold, like Edward. With everything that had gone on during the time after the attack, the hospital, Renee and Phil's death and returning to Charlie and Forks, I didn't notice the coldness of the scar until weeks later. It was then that I first started to realize that I wanted to become one of them. A vampire. To _really_ be a part of the Cullen family, even though they already considered me as such. And I dreamed of spending forever with Edward. A forever with freedom to love him and be loved by him without boundaries and limitations.

I'd mentioned it to him a few times, but he was far from receptive of the idea. He would not steal my humanity or damn me to the existence that he endured. Damned existence? I knew better. The Cullens lived a life far from that of anyone enduring a damned existence. It was then that I should have been reading between the lines. Of course the last thing he would want is to have to tolerate me for an eternity. Especially when he didn't really love me.

And so, here I sit, broken once again. Empty and alone. In spite of his words, he _had_ stolen my humanity. And if anyone was living a damned existence, it was I.

"Bella, are you listening?" Charlie's voice snapped me out of my dark thoughts and back into my dark reality. He'd startled me so much that I knocked over my cereal bowl.

"Sorry, Dad." I started cleaning up the milk.

"You're going to be late for school," he sighed. We had fallen right back into the routine of last fall. And it had only taken a week.

"Bella. Let me finish cleaning that. I don't want you to be late."

"Thanks, Dad. See you later." I grabbed my raincoat and my book bag and headed out of the kitchen but stopped when Charlie spoke again.

"Actually, I'll probably be late tonight." He was hesitating. "A group of hikers have gone missing. Will you be okay here by yourself for a while?"

I didn't miss the pain in his voice. I closed my eyes and tried very hard to control my voice.

"I'll be fine, don't worry. Bye, Dad." Not only was I dying inside, I was starting to kill Charlie. He didn't deserve to go through this again. But at the moment, I didn't have the strength to do anything about it. Actually, it was more like desire that I was lacking.

I walked out the front door and into another rainy Forks morning. I hopped into my truck, started the engine and headed off toward school.

_EPOV _

I had desperately wanted to return to Bella's house last night. But Alice insisted that I should wait. Not only was Carlisle and Esme almost home with Emmett and Rosalie not far behind, Alice assured me that Victoria had no plans for Bella that evening. Reluctantly, I agreed to wait.

I had been standing at the bottom of the stairs when Carlisle and Esme walked through the front door. I hung my head down, afraid to meet their eyes. But just as I'd suspected, open arms. Esme hugged and squeezed me so tight I was afraid she'd left marks. Carlisle just put his hand on my shoulder and waited for me to look up at him. When my eyes met his, there was no need for words _or thoughts_ to be exchanged or shared. I was completely forgiven.

Emmett was just glad to be home. However, Rosalie wasn't as happy. She couldn't enjoy the reunion as much knowing that it was mostly prompted because of Bella. But she had agreed to come back and she was here now. I took that as a good sign.

We'd spent the night re-evaluating Alice's visions and discussing plans and options. It was decided that I would not reveal myself to Bella at this time. She was in an extremely fragile state of mind and if we didn't handle my reintroduction properly, we feared she would be pushed too far.

Although I took some solace in the fact that she hadn't moved on and fallen in love with someone else, it was very little. I could see now that her love for me was real. If only I would have believed her, trusted her heart. I should have known that this wasn't just a typical, teenage girl crush. Bella was not a typical, teenage girl. She had maturity and wisdom far beyond her years. Hell, far beyond my own years. I just couldn't see past my own stubborn views that I was no good for her. I couldn't let my heart believe that someone as wonderful as Bella could truly love a monster like me. I hoped someday soon I'd get the chance to win her back, even if I didn't deserve it.

For now, the priority was Victoria. To find her and destroy her before she could get to Bella. The other issue was the werewolves. Specifically Jacob Black. We were to do our best to conceal our return from them for now. I especially was instructed to keep my distance from Black, for obvious reasons.

By the time I reached Bella's house that morning, the movement inside told me she was already awake. It was probably just as well since I wasn't sure I'd be able to hold up against the temptation to go to her window.

It had been raining all morning and I was thankful that the Black kid was already gone when I got there. Good. There was nothing worse than the smell of _wet dog. _

I settled in behind the bushes against the backside of the house. I could smell Bella from where I was hidden and knew she must be in the kitchen. Aaahh, her wonderful scent. How I'd missed it. A beautiful aroma of freesia and lavender, it was nothing short of heaven. I was thankful I'd gone hunting again last night, for it helped ease the temptation of her aroma. Although, even if I hadn't hunted, I'd long gotten over the fear that I would actually give in to my desires to drink her blood. I simply loved her too much. My dead heart swelled in my chest as being near her now was the best I'd felt in a long, long time. I closed my eyes and saw her face in my mind's eye. Her beautiful chocolate-brown eyes lit up as she smiled at me with her perfect lips. I could feel the warmth of her blush even through my memory. I no longer had any doubt, she was an angel.

Suddenly, I was reminded of what I'd done to my angel as Charlie's thoughts invaded my mind.

_'Look at her, just sitting there. She's stopped eating again. Oh, how I wish Renee were still alive. I'm obviously failing her. I just don't know how to help her anymore. First Edward, now Jacob. What is wrong with these boys? How can they hurt someone like Bella? She's so wonderful and kind hearted with beauty and brains. She's got it all! She should have everything going for her. But instead, she's wasting away. What if she doesn't recover this time? Stop. I can't bear to think that way. Anyway, I better get her moving or she's going to be late for school.'_

"Bella, are you listening?" Charlie had to call to her a few times to get her attention and I heard her knock over her bowl.

I truly was a monster. I'd left her and broken her. Jacob had obviously done something to hurt her as well, but I was the one that set things in motion. He wouldn't have had the opportunity to get close enough to hurt her if I hadn't left her in the first place.

"Sorry, Dad." Oh, the sound of her voice…

"You're going to be late for school," he sighed. _'After all this time, we're back to where we were when Edward left.'_

"Bella. Let me finish cleaning that. I don't want you to be late."

I quickly made my way around the front of the house and waited in a patch of trees across the road. While I waited for Bella to come out and get in her truck, I took a moment to call Alice.

"Hello, Edward."

"Alice. Any news from Victoria?"

"No, nothing. She keeps changing her mind. I can't see anything definite. Just stay alert."

"Of course." I hung up the phone and started following Bella's old truck towards the school. I could walk faster than she would drive.

Once at the school, I was again reminded of what I'd done to Bella. She walked with her head down as the other students stared and whispered.

_'What's wrong with her now?'_

'_She really is pathetic.'_

_'Why doesn't she just get over herself? Like she's the only girl to ever get dumped.'_

It was agonizing; to hear the way they mocked her. I watched as even Mike and Jessica walked past her, ignoring the girl they'd once called a friend. She literally had no one left. _I'm here, Bella. I promise to make this up to you somehow._ My heart yearned for her as she walked through the door into her first class and out of my sight.

I spent the first few hours of the morning watching her from the trees as she went from class to class. While she was in class, I did a quick check of the campus on foot. I was careful not to miss anything. My senses were heightened with anticipation and I found myself daring Victoria to attempt to get near Bella. I consoled my sadness with the anger I was saving for Victoria.

After the noon bell I watched as the students, including Bella, filed out of the cafeteria. I watched as she crossed the campus and disappeared into her next class when suddenly the wind blew from behind me bringing an all too familiar stench to my nostrils.

_'Vile leech. I knew I'd find him here. He's probably afraid if he leaves Bella alone she'll come to her senses. How'd he get her to forgive him anyway? He's probably got her under some kind of spell. I know about the effect vampires have on humans. They are after all, prey.'_

I froze. Jacob Black was coming up behind me. Although I was upwind, he didn't seem surprised to see me. I waited until he got closer to turn around and acknowledge his arrival.

_'Sickening. I can't believe Bella is back with him. Well, I for one am not going to let him get away with what he did to her. It's time I put that bloodsucker in his place!'_

I turned around quickly and startled Black, making him stumble and almost trip amongst the debris on the ground. Clumsy mutt.

"Jacob Black. What an un-pleasant surprise." I had underestimated his growth spurt from the change. Not only was he taller, about 6'4", he was at least 250 lbs. No matter to me, though. In this case, size is no match for skill.

'_Pompous ass. Who the hell does he think he is?' _"I'm afraid you've already overstayed your welcome, leech. Let me warn you to leave now, before it's too late. _'Before I rip you to shreds right here and now.'_

"Careful not to make threats you can't back up on wolf boy. And I'm sorry to inform you, I'm not going anywhere." I found his threats amusing.

"No empty threats here, bloodsucker." _'I'd gladly destroy you. And then, Bella will be mine.'_

"I think Bella is capable of making her own choices." I couldn't help but answer his thought or the way my lips began to curl back from my teeth, now dripping with venom. The mere reminder of his feelings for Bella was nearly enough to make me lose my cool.

'_What? I didn't say that aloud? What is this, some kind of game?'_

"No games. Quite the contrary, I'm taking this very seriously." I didn't want to fight him here, now. This was exactly the type of confrontation Carlisle had wanted me to avoid. However, I was enjoying the way he began to squirm realizing I could hear his every thought. And I was impressed by his self-control. A wolf as young as Jacob would usually phase at the scent of a vampire much less the sight of one.

'_He's reading my mind! Fucking vampire!' _"So, is this how you get Bella to believe your lies, leech? You tell her all the things she _wants_ to hear?" _'Don't phase, don't phase! Get a hold of yourself!_

"You're pushing your luck, Black. Bella is no longer your concern. Now I suggest you retreat to your side of the line before this gets ugly." _'If he turns now, I'll have no choice. I'll have to take him down._

"That's where your wrong, Cullen. Bella is every bit my concern. Just _who_ do you think put her back together when you left her in pieces? Huh? You wanna play mind tricks, Cullen?"

He hit me with everything he had then. Every excruciating memory of his friendship with Bella was flashing through his mind and into me like images from a horror flick. And the kiss. Oh, God, how I hated him.

"Like what you see there, leech?" _'If he wants to dig around in my head he deserves what he gets.'_

He stood there grinning, taunting me. This time, it was more than I could take.

"Prepare to die, dog." I snarled and crouched, ready to pounce on him. But before I could attack, the bell rang.

"We'll finish this later, Black." I glared back at him, daring him to make a move as the schoolyard started to populate with students.

"You're damned right we will." _'I'll be waiting.'_

I quickly skirted around the edge of the trees to get a better view of the classroom doors, eagerly scanning the line of students emerging from class. Just to be able to be this close and watch her as she walked from class to class had done wonders for my broken spirits.

But as the last few students trickled from the building, Bella wasn't with them. She hadn't come out. Perhaps she stayed behind. I waited a minute more. Nothing. No site of her. Alarmed, I headed down the hill towards the building. I threw my hood up and tried to blend in. My eyes were frantic as I searched through the pool of bodies hoping I'd just overlooked her, although, I knew better. Feeling desperate, I listened to the thoughts of the students, any student, trying to focus in on someone who shared the last class with Bella. Finally, there was a familiar voice. Mike Newton.

_'Poor Bella. I can't help feeling sorry for her, even if she never gave me a chance. I've never seen anyone as sensitive to the sight of blood before as Bella. It really was gross when that kid cut his finger.'_

I ran to the nurse's office. But something still wasn't right. I couldn't smell her. She hadn't come this way. I entered the office carefully and snuck around to the nurse's office. No Bella. If my heart weren't already dead, it would have stopped beating at that moment. _'She's gone!'_

Sheer panic overcame me as I ran back outside. The campus was now cleared as all the students had made their way to their next class. I spun around and around scanning the trees on the outskirts of the school grounds, nervously running my hands through my hair, almost pulling it out at the roots.

My phone rang. "Alice! I lost her, she's gone!" _'Oh, God no! No! No! No!_

"Edward, stay calm. We're on our way. We still have time, Edward. But you need to try to pick up her trail. She's taken Bella off into the woods, toward the North. We'll be right behind you, I promise."

I hung up the phone and sank to my knees with my head in my hands, when I heard Black approaching me.

_'Something is wrong. Something is very wrong. Where is Bella? He better tell me what's going on!'_

I stood up and put my hand out towards him, cautioning him to stay back, I was still unsure about his ability to hold himself together and I didn't wish to find out at that moment.

"I told you, Black. This doesn't concern you. I don't have time for this right now. I have to find Bella."

"No. I'm not leaving until you tell me what the hell is going on. Have you gotten Bella into some kind of trouble?" '_So help me, if you hurt her again…'_

"Listen to me, Jacob. Bella doesn't know I'm here. I tracked another vampire here to Forks and now she's got Bella, and the longer I have to stand here and argue with you, the farther away she's getting. Now, are we finished here?"

"Let me go with you." _'Oh my god, Bella! Is that girl ever out of danger? He has to let me help._

"No. This is our territory. Victoria is my responsibility." His thoughts were sincere and I could understand his concern, but I didn't need any distractions. I took off running towards the north woods but could hear Jacob right behind me, keeping pace with my every step.

_'Something is off. Cullen smells different. Cleaner? Yeah, like that's possible. No, this is something different all together. They've got different scents? Dammit, how could I be so stupid?'_

"You can't stop me from helping Cullen. I'm coming with you."

_'Great! The last thing I need is some newborn pup tagging along, but…_' "Fine." I muttered. "Just refrain from bursting into wolf-boy or you could get Bella killed."

_'Like you care what happens to her. The jobs already done, you killed her…She died the day you left.'_

**_Thanks to everyone that is still reading. I know my updates have been slow lately, but I've really been working hard on making each chapter better than the last. And, these last few chapters would not be near as great without the help from Stupid Shiny Volvo Driver! Love ya!! Thanks for all of your proofreading and wonderful suggestions._**

**_Also, I'd like to let new and old readers know that I have started re-writing some of the early chapters. I think they could use just a little improvement. Don't worry, I'm not adding anything that will change the course or outcome of the story. But when you have time, go back to the beginning and take a peek. I think you'll like the changes you find._**


	17. Chapter 15

15.

_BPOV _

So this was the end for me. This is how I would die, by the hands of the sinister Victoria in an attempt to avenge the death of her beloved James. She had finally caught up with me now that I had no one to protect me. She would finish the job that James started a year ago. And despite the elaborate plan that James had concocted to do me in, I had a feeling it could not begin to compare to whatever Victoria had in store for me.

She'd grabbed me just outside of the nurse's office and was now dragging me off through the woods to god-knows-where. Somewhere no one would find us or interrupt her, no doubt. She didn't have to worry about me screaming. As soon as she'd grabbed me she'd bitten me, once on the throat and on both my wrists. But she only did enough damage to paralyze my voice and to slowly begin draining me of life. There was no fire or burning so I knew she hadn't injected any of her venom. She was in complete control of herself, fueled by her vengeance.

The ground tore at my hands and arms, leaving new scrapes and cuts. My jeans had torn when they had caught on a broken branch and I was now bleeding from a cut on my leg. I wished she would hurry and get it over with. Just drain me and leave me to die in peace.

As I considered the fact that I was going to die soon, I thought about Charlie. He would no longer have to suffer, watching me die little by little each day. If there was anything left after Victoria was finished with me, he could bury me, mourn my loss and then move on. Maybe he'd finally leave Forks and start a new life in a new place. Maybe he'd finally find some happiness for himself.

I wondered if anyone else would mourn my loss. Aside from Angela, I doubted if any of my so-called school chums would care. Jessica wouldn't have to worry about whether Mike Newton was more interested in me than her and Lauren would probably mourn more over the loss of a lip-gloss.

Of course I thought of Edward. He wasn't here to save me this time. But whom would he really be saving me from? There wasn't much life left in me for Victoria to take. What little life Edward left in me, Jacob had used up.

And what about Jake? I knew he loved me, but that was before. Before he became a wolf and learned of his true destiny. Before once again I became nothing more than a nuisance… a silly 'human' girl. Weren't the wolves supposed to hunt vampires? I guess that's only if they were a threat to the reservation. I wasn't even important enough to save. As far as they were concerned, I was nothing. No, I was worse than that…I was a vampire lover.

I thought about Edward again, my beloved Edward, and what I wouldn't give to see his beautiful face just one more time. I would welcome death if I could just see him again. I didn't care anymore that he left me or that my heart had been broken into a thousand pieces. I didn't care that when he left, he took with him my ability to love and be happy. _'It'll be as though I never existed.' _Now I'd be the one that ceased to exist.

It seemed like she had been dragging me for hours. My legs felt broken and bruised from the forest floor and my arms were numb from the loss of blood. My head was spinning and I was beginning to taste blood in my mouth, backing up from my neck wound. I would not be able to stay conscious for the worst of it, which was yet to come. I felt myself slipping into darkness and I tried to imagine his face. I pictured him fully in my mind's eye. I even imagined I could hear his voice. I opened my eyes and standing before me was my dark angel. Then I knew…I was about to die.

_EPOV _

As soon as I hit the trees I picked up Bella's scent. But it wasn't just the sweet intoxication of lavender and freesia. It was her blood, the very essence of life that flowed through her and enticed the monster within me with every beat of her heart. She'd already been bitten.

I took off, following the air of her aroma and I swear I thought I felt my heart skip. _Would I get to her in time?_ As I followed Bella's scent, it was obvious that they were traveling upwind from us. Good. We'd be able to come up behind them easily without alerting Victoria to our presence.

'_Blood?'_ "I smell blood." _'Oh God! Bella's hurt! What if we don't find her in time?'_

"Keep quiet or leave dog." Why did Jacob Black have to follow me? I didn't need his help or his distractions.

My mouth was flooded with venom as I found a trail of Bella's blood on the ground. I swallowed hard and pushed away the monster that was begging to come to life inside me as I followed her blood through the trees.

'_Edward, we're here. Where are you?'_ Carlisle. Thank god.

"I'm about 300 yards north. I found a trail of Bella's blood. We don't have much time. Alice?" I spoke in a voice that was barely a whisper, but I knew my family could hear me.

'_She's still alive Edward. We're right behind you. __Edward, who's with you?'_

Ugh! I forgot about him.

"Jacob, stay back."

"The hell I will!" _'Who the hell put you in charge? It's your fault Bella's out here to begin with!'_

I didn't have time for this. I stopped suddenly and turned around to face him.

"Look Jacob, I'm not telling you to leave. But my family is going to be here any second and I don't think you want to test yourself in the presence of six other vampires. Just stay back, for now. And for God's sake, keep your voice down." I didn't give him time to answer before I took off running again but I could feel him fall back a little.

'_I love her, too, you know.'_

Of course I knew.

By the time Carlisle and the others caught up to us, we were closing in on Victoria. Bella's scent was so strong it was like running into the wind. It wrapped around me like an unseen force. But it was not thirst driving me towards her. It was fear. Fear of losing Bella, someone so special that my existence finally made sense. After all this time, I finally had a purpose. One purpose. To win her back and spend the rest of eternity proving my love to her.

Then I saw them. Suddenly, aware of our arrival, Victoria backed up against a tree, clutching Bella by the hair. Bella appeared to be unconscious but I could see she'd been bitten on the neck. _Oh, God! Bella!_ Her jeans were torn revealing cuts and bruises from where she'd been dragged. Her arms were bloody and I could see bites on both her wrists among the other cuts and scrapes she'd endured from the rocks and twigs on the ground. Victoria was letting her bleed slowly. I was surprised at her control and it only fueled my anger more.

"Prepare to die Victoria." I snarled and allowed the venom to flow freely out of my mouth and drip down my shirt. I crouched; ready to pounce on her if she even twitched.

"Edward. I must say I was not expecting you. Although I'm glad you've arrived in time to watch the girl die." Her words came out in one, long hiss.

'_Edward. Wait. Get control.'_ Carlisle was trying to calm me down knowing I needed clarity before attacking Victoria.

'_We're here, Edward.'_

'_We won't let anything happen to her.'_

_'Let's kick some red-headed ass!'_

The last thought came from Rosalie. She was just as ready as the rest of my family to protect Bella from Victoria's wrath.

I caught a glimpse of Alice out of the corner of my eye. Her eyes had gone dark and blank and I knew she was being taken over by a vision. Only I didn't wait to find out if the outcome was good or bad. Knowing it was now or never, I leapt into the air preparing to take Victoria out.

My feet came down against the side of the tree splitting it open. But Victoria had anticipated my attack and had already moved. I landed on the ground just in time to look up and see her bite down on Bella's neck.

"Noooo!" I screamed. Bella's eyes shot open when Victoria's teeth pierced her skin and immediately locked onto mine. Only her eyes were not full of fear or agony like they should have been. No, immediately I recognized the look in her eyes. Her eyes were filled with love and they seemed to grab hold of me making it impossible for me to move or react.

Instead I heard the thoughts and movements of my family and their reaction to what was taking place before them. But as they closed in around Victoria, Jacob Black was already there. He'd transformed and came from behind her, wrapping his massive jaws around the back of Victoria's neck. Carlisle and Jasper had already moved Bella out of the way as the sound of Victoria's neck snapping echoed through the forest. Jacob locked onto her, burying his huge teeth in deep and dragged her off into the trees. Emmett and Rosalie followed him to make sure Victoria was properly destroyed.

I ran to Bella's side and knelt beside her, cradling her head in my lap. There was so much blood. "Carlisle! Help me!" I cried out, sobs wracking over me. The sight of her precious blood flowing all over her neck and chest and over my arms and hands did little toward tempting the thirst inside of me. Instead, I could only think about Bella and how I couldn't lose her.

Bella stared up at me, oblivious to everything that had just gone on around her. She just kept looking at me with her big, chocolate brown eyes and a serene smile on her lips. She didn't appear to be in any pain and she wasn't screaming from Victoria's most recent bite. She was in shock. She was dying.

"Carlisle, help her! Please!" I knew she was slipping. I could hear her heart beat slowing. _Oh God, I can't live without her!_

"Edward, you have to bite her or she'll die." _'Edward! Do you hear me?'_

I heard him, but I didn't know if I could do it. I held onto her tighter, rocking back and forth on my knees, sobbing in vain because I couldn't shed a single tear.

"No! I can't! I won't do that to her! Carlisle, you have to save her! Make the bleeding stop!" I was desperate not to lose her but I couldn't be the one to steal her soul. Was there no other way? I got my answer from the thoughts of my family that stood circled around us.

'_Edward, please don't let her die.'_ Alice begged me, unable to bear the thought of losing her sister.

'_You can do it, Edward. Everything will be alright.'_ Esme was trying to soothe me.

'_You can save her. There is no other way. I…I…she needs you.'_ Jacob had returned to his human form and was now standing with the rest of my family, looking down on Bella as she lay cradled in my arms. His thoughts hit me the hardest. Was he really telling me to turn her? I glanced up at him, my eyes questioning if what I heard was true.

_'You heard me, now do it!'_ Sobs tore through him so hard he couldn't even form the words. 

I turned my eyes back down to my angel's face. She was pale from the loss of blood, almost as pale as I was. Her breathing was shallow and her heart was struggling. The time had come. Her eyes closed as I leaned down to her face. I gently brushed my lips across hers and bent down towards her ear. "I love you. Please forgive me." I whispered before moving my mouth to the velvety skin below her ear. As my teeth came in contact with her tender flesh, a sob rose up and escaped my lips. Then, without hesitation, I did the unthinkable…I bit her.

_**Again, many, many thanks to Stupid Shiny Volvo Driver for encouraging and inspiring me to write better all the time! And for old and new readers alike, please go check out my re-writes on Chapters 1-5 that have now been posted!**_


	18. Chapter 16

16.

_BPOV _

It's funny, all your life you hear about people who claim to have had near death experiences or who have been clinically dead but came back. They always talk about seeing a light at the end of a tunnel or angels or loved ones either greeting them or telling them it's not time.

When I heard Edward's voice and opened my eyes I wasn't thinking about dying. I wasn't even conscious of Victoria's teeth in my neck. All I knew was that my angel had come for me. I didn't care if I was dying, dead or whatever as long as Edward was there. I closed my eyes and let the darkness take me.

"Carlisle! Help me!" I heard his voice calling out, dragging me back to him through the darkness. "Carlisle, help her! Please!"

As I looked up into his eyes I felt his arms around me, holding me, rocking me and I was so happy. But, he wasn't. His eyes were full of pain and anguish. Why was he so sad? Wasn't he happy to see me? Hadn't he come back _for me?_ Before my mind could comprehend all that was being said around me, he leaned down to kiss me. I closed my eyes and I was in heaven as I felt his cold, marble lips on mine. Then, his sweet voice whispered in my ear, "I love you. Please forgive me."

He loved me! He didn't need to ask for forgiveness. I'd forgiven him for leaving me long before he came back. He loved me! My heart swelled in my chest, whole at last. He loved me! His cool lips were now tickling below my ear as I realized once again; he loved me. I lay there in his arms, blissfully unaware of all that was taking place around me but serenely happy that my Edward was here, biting me. Biting me?

Edward was biting me! Buy, why? Why would he bite me now? Is he killing me? No, even in my half dead, half alive stupor I knew better. He was changing me. I thought he didn't want to change me. I thought he didn't want _me_. But he does want me. He came back because he loves me. Is that why he's changing me? So we can finally be together? Did I want him to change me? Of course I did. Now we would be together forever. But, why now? I still didn't understand and as a different sort of dark veil passed over me I realized it didn't matter, none of it.

_EPOV_

Over the next three days, I spent every second by Bella's side. After biting her in the woods, I carried her back to our house in Forks. Emmett and Jasper moved a bed from one of the other rooms into my bedroom so Bella would be more comfortable.

She had lost consciousness when I bit her and had remained that way. The pain from the transformation should have had her writhing and screaming in agony, the way we had all done when we'd gone through the change. But, Bella never made a sound. She never even twitched a finger. It was unnerving to say the least. Carlisle couldn't explain it and said he'd never heard of anything like this happening before. Periodically he'd check her heart rate and her breathing, assuring me that she was okay. All we could do was wait and it was more torture than if I'd endured the transformation myself all over again.

Carlisle had covered Bella's disappearance by calling Charlie and telling him that she'd shown up in Los Angeles to find me. He said that Bella and I had then run off together but that he'd convinced us to come back and that as soon as we did he would bring Bella back home to Forks. Naturally, Charlie's first reaction was to come and get Bella himself. Esme, in her soothing way, explained to Charlie that we were on our way back and that it was best if they brought Bella home. She was then able to convince him not to do anything that may spook Bella and cause her to run away again. The story bought us time to decide our next move, which would mostly be determined by Bella's condition after she woke up. And her wishes.

I wasn't entirely convinced that she would be okay with how things were turning out. My heart knew that Bella loved me and always had, but I also felt the pain I had caused her. My mind told me that logically she would hate me. Hate me for leaving her and hurting her and now for turning her into a lost soul.

Jacob Black had insisted on coming back to the house with us. He stayed long enough for Carlisle to brief him on what Bella would be going through, how the transformation worked and long enough to make himself a nervous wreck in a house full of vampires. Then he left.

A meeting was scheduled between Carlisle and Sam Uley, the leader of the La Push wolf pack. According to the treaty, not only were we not to kill any humans, we were forbidden to bite them as well. Even though I did it to save her, my biting Bella had broken the treaty. If we couldn't convince the wolves that it was necessary to bite her, and better than letting her die, they would declare war. They didn't consider what I did as saving her. To them, it was worse than if she were dead. She'll be a vampire and their mortal enemy.

The meeting was still two days away. Jacob, being the youngest of the pack, probably wouldn't have much pull in the way of their decision. But, he was all we had to go on. He said he'd do his best to convince Sam to make a consideration, being as that it is Bella. I wasn't so sure however that the daughter of the Chief of Police would be reason for them to make an exception. On the contrary, she seemed the worst possible candidate to become a vampire in their eyes. And so, we waited. And waited. And waited.

Time usually has very little relevance in the existence of a vampire. What years were to humans were more like months to us. However, watching Bella in a coma-like state, every minute that passed was like an hour.

After the sun had set on the third day, Bella was still unconscious. It was more than I could bear. Overcome with grief, I curled up beside her on the bed and held her in my arms the way I used to hold her as she slept each night. I tried to make myself believe that this was just like those other nights and that she was only sleeping. My efforts were in vain and I cried invisible tears into her hair as I clutched her to me, humming her lullaby in hopes it would help bring her out of this unending slumber.

This is all my fault. What have I done? I never should have left her. I knew Victoria was out there somewhere. I never should have left Bella alone. How could I have doubted her love for me? Oh, Bella. My angel, please wake up. I need you. I need you now more than ever. I have to know if you'll forgive me. And if you don't, I'll spend eternity on my knees begging and they'll be the best years of my existence. Just let me get that chance, please…

"Edward?" Jasper peeked his head inside the door. Alice was behind him.

"Come in," I sighed. I knew why they were here.

"Edward, you've got to stop. Please don't do this to yourself. She'll be okay. Despite her lack of grace, she's a strong girl. She's just different. We all know that. We shouldn't even be surprised that she's going through the transformation unlike any of us. That's Bella. Besides, the angst coming off of you right now is almost enough to make _me_ run of to Los Angeles."

He had a point. And with that, he sent waves of calm and serenity over me and I couldn't help but feel a little more at peace.

"Alice, what happened in the woods? What did you see?"

_Oh god, it just came over me so fast._ "I saw Victoria bite Bella's neck and I heard you scream. But then everything went…_blank._ I couldn't see what…_the outcome. I don't understand it. I couldn't see Jacob anywhere._ "The next thing I knew, I was watching you bite her and then we were on our way back here."

"Alice, please tell me that she'll be okay. Just something, any little thing you see. I can't stand this waiting."

"I wish I could. I don't think I'll be able to see anything until she wakes up." _If she wakes up._

"Oh, Edward! I didn't mean that! _I'm so sorry! Of course she'll wake up._ It was just one of those…_thoughts._ I couldn't help it. Edward, I'm sorry."

One look into her big, round eyes and I couldn't be angry with her for her thoughts. If I was being honest, we'd all harbored the same thought at some point over the past three days. Even Carlisle, despite all his reassurances.

"It's okay, Alice. I understand."

"We'll leave you alone with her now, Edward." Jasper led Alice out of the room and left me alone to my thoughts.

I tried to repress a sob as I lay down once again and held onto my angel even tighter. I closed my eyes and imagined a time not so long ago; the first time we went to the meadow. Our meadow. It seemed like yesterday.

We were both so sure, yet unsure. Sure that we were hopelessly in love with the other and yet unsure of how it happened or what to do about it. I remembered how afraid I had been to step out into the sunlight and reveal, fully reveal without any doubts, what I truly was. It was terrifying for me to feel so vulnerable and yet, it was an all-together exhilarating sensation at the same time. I'd never been vulnerable to anyone before, especially a human, a girl. Looking at Bella's face, I was met with a reassuring expression that enveloped me and made me feel safe and enabled me to take that first step.

Lying in the grass beside her, her touch felt like heaven as she traced her fingers slowly over every inch of my own fingers and hand, up and down my arm. I'd never been touched that way by a human or by anyone really. It awakened something within me that I had never been aware of before. Bella awakened the part of me that I needed and craved to share with another. In that moment I wanted to give her everything I had, including all the love in my cold, dead heart. Love that I thought would never exist for me. She also awakened something else. The man inside me was suddenly very aware of this exquisite creature beside me and with every single touch I found it more difficult for the gentleman within to remain in control of these new desires.

She never took her eyes off of me; completely in awe of the way the sun's rays shimmered off my granite skin. We stared at each other in awe, both wondering if the other were real. Even now, I am amazed when I think of Bella and how accepting she was of me. The real me. She was never afraid, even though she should have been. The way her blood called to me like a need that couldn't be denied. For someone who was alive it would be like trying to deny their heart to beat or their lungs to breathe. But her faith in me and in my love for her overpowered any fear that she may have had. Why didn't I have the same faith in her love? The same faith in myself?

If I'd had just one ounce of Bella's faith, we wouldn't be in this predicament now. Bella would be alive and awake and human. She'd be finishing school, go on to graduation and then off to a normal human life in a couple of months. Now she was caught somewhere between life and death, between being human and being a vampire. Would she ever wake up?

Before my thoughts could once again become torturous, Carlisle came in.

"Edward? Would it help if I checked all her vitals again? _Maybe there's been some change."_

"Sure, Carlisle. Please, go ahead."

I'd completed medical school twice myself and could easily check her vitals. But, I couldn't deny Carlisle the gesture. The doctor inside him always took over in situations like this. Besides, it couldn't hurt and it did ease my mind a little watching Carlisle care for Bella.

I moved off of the bed to give Carlisle some room and walked over to the window. Staring across the yard and into the trees behind our house, I noticed a small deer roaming cautiously near the edge of the woods. Under normal circumstances, that deer would have made a nice afternoon snack. But, my thirst didn't even twitch at the site of the animal. Bella's sweet blood still flowed through my veins, leading me to wonder if I'd ever thirst again.

She was a part of me now more than ever. And I was a part of her, my venom alive in her veins and poisoning her soul. We were forever connected this way. If only she'd wake up, we could begin forever together. That is, if she'd forgive me for what I'd done to her, stealing her life away. My thoughts were again interrupted when Carlisle made a relieving discovery.

"Edward, have you seen this? Her wounds, they're almost completely healed and her skin is hardening."

Instantly, I was sitting on the side of the bed next to Bella examining her neck and arms where Victoria's bite marks had been. Even the bite I had inflicted on her was almost gone.

"I…I didn't even notice. I've just been so worried about the fact that she wasn't waking up. Maybe you should check her eyes."

Gently, Carlisle slid one of Bella's eyelids open and peered into her eye. Crimson.

"I'd say she's pretty near the end of her transformation, Edward. Lucky for her she's slept through the entire process."

"But, will she wake up at all?"

"I'm sure there's no need to worry about that. Bella is just going through this in her own way. Remember, she's as stubborn as you are when it comes to doing things her way."

I laid my head against her chest, listening to her heart. I could have heard it from downstairs, but it was nicer this way, to actually feel her heart beating, causing my venom to pulse throughout her body.

"It's beating, but very slowly. It'll probably stop later today and then she'll be…"

'Edward, don't. She'll be fine. Better than you would expect I'm guessing.'

He gave me a reassuring smile and left.

Resuming my spot next to her on the bed, I held onto my angel and hummed her lullaby. In my mind I said goodbye to all of her human traits I would miss. Her clumsiness and how I'd never again need to catch her as she fell. Her blush and the way it would warm her cheeks, further tempting my desires. Her dark, chocolate eyes full of innocence and life. And if I were being honest, I would miss the sound her blood made as it flowed thick and hot through her veins. I was addicted to every fiber of her being. No matter how difficult resistance became, I would miss the way my love for Bella would overpower and win against the monster that wanted to drink from her. I said my goodbyes to all of these things and waited for her last heartbeat.

_JPOV _

Sam had finally let me go home to rest. I'd been under almost constant interrogation over the past three days. The pack was not happy with me, to say the least.

At first, Sam was angry that I'd been spying on Bella. Especially since I was assuming that Edward _had_ been with her. It could have gotten ugly had there been a confrontation and it would have risked exposure for all of us. He also believed that had I not been fueling my own jealousy I would have been alert enough to detect the difference in vampire's scents. I was still kicking myself over that one.

I'd been stupid and foolish and it almost got Bella killed. As far as Sam and the rest of the pack were concerned, she was dead anyway. They would not acknowledge her as a vampire. She wouldn't be Bella, just and enemy, no better than Victoria in their eyes. But I couldn't believe that. I wouldn't believe that. She would still be Bella. And she may not be alive in the technical sense, but she'd be here. That's all that mattered to me.

Watching her lying on the ground with Edward, bleeding, dying, it felt like Victoria had ripped _me_ apart instead of the other way around. I knew she would die if something weren't done. And I don't care how gifted of a doctor Carlisle Cullen was, she was beyond even his repair. No, the only shot she had was for Edward to bite her. I couldn't even speak the words, but he heard me anyway, his eyes questioning me in disbelief and looking even more unsure than I was. He leaned in to bite her and I let her go. It was the only thing I could do.

It was definite now. There'd no longer be any chance for Bella and I to be together. She'd live happily ever after with Cullen. I'd find a way to live with that, I'd have to. I was also determined that I would see her again, despite Sam's warnings.

Sam was to meet with Dr. Cullen this evening to discuss the breach in the treaty. No human was to be killed _or_ bitten. Despite the fact that it was done in an effort to save Bella, Edward broke the treaty when he bit her. That's the only way Sam would see it unless I could change his mind.

If only I had more time. According to the doctor, the transformation took three days. The time for Bella to complete the transformation and become a vampire had ended sometime through the night. And three days was not enough time for Sam and the pack to cool down and listen to reason.

To my astonishment, my dad was on my side. He believed that if it had been him looking down at Bella as she lay dying, with his attachment to Charlie he wouldn't have been able to let her slip away either. He was worried over Charlie's state of mind as it was, with Charlie believing Bella had run off to Los Angeles in order to find Edward. It was the best possible explanation for her disappearance at this point, but I wondered how long it would hold Charlie at bay. Would he ever see her again? Would I?

Too many questions right now and not enough answers. I needed to get some sleep. Tonight, Sam would be meeting with Dr. Cullen and I intended to be there.

_BPOV _

Suddenly, I became aware of it all. Of everything that had happened and of everything that was still happening. Victoria had grabbed me at school. She bit me and dragged me off into the woods to kill me. But then Edward came to save me. Edward and Jacob. Jacob had been there too. He did care. And the Cullens were there. Victoria bit me again and Edward screamed. That's when I saw him. And I heard the wolf. It was Jacob coming up from behind. Carlisle and Jasper were there pulling me away as Jacob carried Victoria off into the trees. Emmett and Rosalie went with him.

And then Edward was there, holding me. He was sad because I was dying. But I wasn't afraid…because Edward was there. And then he bit me…to save me? He was saving me.

My heart was soaring. Everything I had dreamed for had come true. Edward came back for me, he loved me and I was going to be with him for eternity. Nothing else mattered. And then I thought about the pain. There was no pain. There was no burning. But there was darkness. Everything had faded like I was asleep and dreaming. I could sense people moving around me and I could hear them talking. I could hear Alice and Jasper. Esme was there also. And Carlisle, I could hear him talking to Edward, telling him I was okay and that I'd wake up soon. Soon. I would wake up and be with Edward and we could begin the rest of our lives, our existence.

**_I cannot offer enough thanks to Stupid Shiny Volvo Driver, who has now agreed to beta for me. Thank you for all that you've taught me, for sharing my love and obsession with this series and for being a friend._**

**_Also, thanks to all of my readers, old and new. I appreciate your patience inbetween posts and I love your reviews! Please keep them coming!!_**

**_Finally, as old readers know, I've been going back a little at a time and rewriting my earlier chapters. I feel that I've improved so much in my writing and have expanded a little on the previous chapters, adding more detail and stuff. Please go back and re-read when you have a chance. Chapter 6 is being re-posted today!_**


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